The Muse and Whirled Retort July 2018

The Muse AND WHIRLED RETORT July 2018

The Muse AND WHIRLED RETORT July 2018
Hey everybody,
what can I say - this newsletter has become much more infrequent than either of us would like.

I am thrilled this year is my 30th year of being on the road!  I am (as they say in California and mean one thing... and in Georgia mean another) “Blessed” to have performed and recorded over the years with some of the greatest  folks to ever play in the minor leagues (major = minor in my book)
in chronological order:  Amanda Stark, David Rovics, Samantha Parton, Oliver Steck, Niki Leeman, Laura Freeman, Frankie Hernandez, Chad Austinson,  Magda Hiller, Anne Feeney, David Roe, Paul Benoit, John Elliot... AND THIS Year Sean Shanihan!

Sean and I have worked up a set celebrating the 30 year retrospective coupled with well... as I say - “You will go through life listening to the music you listened to in the 9th grade”  the musical cannon of... the Sex Pistols, iggi pop, X, the Cranberries, Southern Culture on the Skids,  and you can find us performing in the NW this summer.  

insert trumpet blast here.... to celebrate 30 years on the road...
am putting out a series of 3 books that distell observations from the road into one liners. and you too could have a collection of “Chandlerisims” in your home by clicking here.

*****FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH**********
BUY CHANDELR’S SPIN HERE:
https://celticartstudio.com/shop/chris_chandler/
*****FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH**********



Here is a sample of what you will be hearing... and if ya live in Washington State and have Wednesday July 25th as a date you would like to have us come into your living room - drop me a note.

Here is a sample...


The Hive Brain / Passenger
By Chris Chandler / Iggi Pop


I am a passenger
And I ride and I ride



The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

I ride through the city's backside
I see the stars come out of the sky


Each new measurement of the known universe tells a confusing story.

Yeah, they're bright in a hollow sky

And every confusing story creates more to be measured.

Facts are no longer remembered, but stored in an off brain facility.
Our frontal lobes, once our mighty claws and talons,
have been removed and stored
in a fragile a hand held device,  one that requires a monthly payment plan
- with out which -
We are no longer connected to
the hive brain.

Without this corporate account,
we are banished from the new society.

The hive brain is massive, all encompassing, growing.
Yet, our own brain is shrinking.

The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

I am a passenger
I stay under glass
I look through my window so bright
I see the stars come out tonight
I see the bright and hollow sky
Over the city's ripped-back sky
And everything looks good tonight

The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

Math skills, gone in the ‘70s with hand held calculators. Multiplication tables,  gone the way of the dodo bird,
and Block-Buster Video,  White Out
and the Roladex.

Mark Twain once said, “Never trust a man that can’t figure out more than one way to auto-correct a word.”

It’s true, I read it on the internet.

I was once arrested and striped of my cell phone,
but could not make my one phone call
because I did not know anyone’s phone number.

Global Positioning Satellites suck our sense of direction though the vacuum known as dependance.  

I can navigate anywhere and nowhere simultaneously.

As a species we hear more music than anyone else in human history.
Yet,
together we can barely sing, “Happy Birthday.”

Singin' la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la



Though I stand on the shoulders of giants,
I am still an ant.

Get into the car
We'll be the passenger



I communicate with more people on a daily basis through social media than the entire cities my ancestors created.

We'll ride through the city tonight
See the city's ripped backsides



Yet, I communicate with fewer upon every tweet.  

We'll ride through the city tonight
See the city's ripped backsides



I ban who I want to from my universe, and admit only those I desire.
Creating a cult of clones.
Building Berlin Walls, Great Walls of China,
Mexican Border walls
of the soul.

I can read more newspapers than anyone before me,
but with every article I read,
the next is more narrowly tailored to me,
and the next ... based on what I last read.  
The ads I see - tailored to me.  

I am drowning in a sea of me.

My body of knowledge is growing...
thinner...
Just as as a soap bubble expands...
it gets larger...
However, as it expands
its walls grow thinner.

The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

He sees the things he knows are his
He sees the bright and hollow sky

Endless cycles of inward looking.  
Narcissus mastrubating in a hall of mirrors
in the vain attempt to inbreed with himself.

Inscestuous Ignominy

He sees the city asleep at night
He sees the stars are out tonight
And all of it is yours and mine
And all of it is yours and mine --->




But today,
every news article I read is researched with the vigor of a 4th grade social studies student plagiarizing his text book
to turn in his assignment by midterm deadline and be patted on the head by the denizens of dumbyland.


Singin' la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la



So we release... release... release...
A smorgasbord of half baked,
half researched,
half thought through,
fully self referenced,
hypotheses.

All in an urgent need to
get more likes,
more followers...
more retweets...
more “friends.”

So that, for a second...
One second...
We can feel that someone...
somewhere out there,

Loves us.


Now... here’s da dates

Friday, July 13th, 2018  4:20 (dude!)
The Oregon Country Faire
Shady Grove Stage
Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
PRICE: $29.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



Saturday, July 14th, 2018  9 PM
The Oregon Country Faire
Otter Camp (camping passes only)
Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
PRICE: $29.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



Saturday, July 14th, 2018  before you know it
The Oregon Country Faire
Various spontanious Sightings
Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
PRICE: $29.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



Sunday, July 15th, 2018  1:40 PM
The Oregon Country Faire
The Blue Moon Stage
Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
PRICE: $29.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



Sunday, July 15th, 2018  Dark
The Oregon Country Faire
The Library (Caping Passes Only)
Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
PRICE: $29.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



Wednesday, July 18th, 2018  7 PM
at the home of (and featuring) Cassandra Robertson and Jahmez
A house Concert
Contact the Face Book Event Page Below for Address or Email Me baldchandler@yahoo.com
Corvalis, OR
PRICE: $15.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Purchase Tickets here:
website: https://www.facebook.com/events/1765086223582882/



Thursday, July 19th, 2018  9 PM (doors at 8)
Performers in the Round with STEVE WILKINSON + JEREMY WILSON + MICHAEL DEAN DAMRON
Dante's Live
350 West Burnside
Portland, OR 97209
phone: 503-269-6519
PRICE: $7.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets Here:
website: www.DantesLive.com
~Michael Dean Damron
Talent Buyer/Production Manager
503-269-6519

Dante's
350 West Burnside
Portland, Oregon 97209
Booking Office: 503-227-1127
Website: www.DantesLive.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/DantesLive


Friday, July 20th, 2018  6 PM
A fundraiser for the Estacada Area Food Bank!
The Estacada Foodbank
272 S Broadway St
Estacada, OR 97023
phone: 541 997-2997
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Here is a an event page
website: https://www.facebook.com/events/188156882034107/



Saturday, July 21st, 2018  8 PM
Scott Landfield Presents
Tsunami Books
2585 Willamette Street
Eugene, OR 97405
phone: 541-345-8986
PRICE: $15.00
website: http://www.tsunamibooks.org
with super secret guests "The Beer"



Sunday, July 22nd, 2018  7 PM (Doors at 6)
KXCRs Summer Celebration
The Unitarian Fellowship building
the junction of Hwy 101 & Heceta Beach Rd.
Florence, OR
phone: 541 997-2997
PRICE: $15.00
Suggested donation $15. Doors open at 6:00. Show begins at 7pm. Special thanks to Chris Chandler and Sean Shanahan for once again sharing their creative talents with Florence fans. For information call 541 997-2997. Please pass the word!

The Unitarian Fellowship building is located at the junction of Hwy 101 & Heceta Beach Rd.



Monday, July 23rd, 2018
Labor's Stewards
Evergreen College
Olympia, WA
website: http://www.evergreen.edu/academics/programs
Private Event



Tuesday, July 24th, 2018  7 PM
James Hardesty Presents
The Firefly Lounge
1015 State St
Bellingham, WA 98255
PRICE: $8.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
website: www.thefireflylounge.com
The Firefly Lounge
1015 N. State St.
Bellingham, WA 98225

www.thefireflylounge.com

ANYONE IN PT? VASHON/ OLYMPIAWanna throw a house concert?  got an idea for a show?  we have the day off dag nab it.

Thursday, July 26th, 2018  9 PM
Chandler returns to Seattle with a new show in a new room (for him)
Hotel Albatross
2319 NW Market St
Seattle, WA 98107
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
website: http://www.hotelalbatross.com

updated: 5 months ago