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The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort 2015

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

    THE MUSE AND WHIRLED RETORT
    Ashland, OR
    7-3-15

    Hi,
    Jen and I are busy in the bowels of Celtic Art Studio - packing her stuff in mine and heading towards a wonderful time at the Oregon Country Faire.

    This year I will have “The Greatest Banned on Earth” and then Paul Benoit and I will take off on a few shows together in a brand new (to me) 1981 Mercedes Wagon. Sheeze - seems like my cars just keep getting older and older. This is the oldest car I have ever had. in College I drove a 1958 Cadillac Hearse (i did) and when I first went on the road I drove a 65 Microbus... the truck with the camper i had for years that people still ask me about... a 76 Chevy LUV... none as old as this wagon - His name is Mo.

    If you are anywhere between Santa Cruz and Bellingham and want to have a little house concert - please see the dates below.

    OK --- on with it!

    Tomorrow is the 4th of July and it’s time we talked about some things going on in this land of ours.

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

    I say Comedy,
    You say Tragedy
    I say Tragedy
    You say Comedy

    Tragedy: Comedy
    Comedy: Tragedy

    Some people say we have a race problem in this country. and I say yea, it is a race problem because they think it is a race.

    It is a race problem because ya start off one group of people 20 miles behind the starting line and call it a race

    Ya put one group of people twenty miles behind the starting line and make them wear a set of leg irons as running shoes and call it a race.

    It’s not a race problem - it is a problem with the race.

    You wonder why impoverished youth will kill each other over a pair of running shoes - it is because you call it a race.

    They think they have a chance...

    But I say this is not a race - because the world is round - and if it were a race who ever is in first place is slightly behind the guy in last... and if I were you I would be looking over my shoulder...


    Tragedy: Comedy
    Comedy: Tragedy


    You say there is a race problem I say there is a problem with the Race.
    All over the country the poor are disenfranchised by persistent Redistricting - known as Gerymandering. Very Few people of color stand a a Snow-Angel’s chance in hell in getting elected.

    It is not a race problem it is a problem with the race.

    Mississippi has 40% black population and 8 % of it’s elected officials are black.

    and don’t get me started on election reform, PAC money, unlimited anonymous campaign donations, Citizens United...

    Who can run against that?

    It is not a race problem it is a problem with the race.


    Tragedy: Comedy
    Comedy: Tragedy

    I am Michael Brown

    Tragedy
    Comedy
    I am Lindsay Graham

    Lindsay Graham, In your home state?

    If it's heritage not hate - then show us just how much heritage you have by being a southern Gentleman by taking it down.

    I am southern, too. That’s the part of my heritage I don’t hate.

    My ancestors too fought in the Civil War... I know first hand we have a long tradition of... surrendering...

    Take it down!
    I know he was more or less a lone crazy man that shot up that church but think about it... He was only 21 years old... I thought some stupid $hit when I was that age... and racism is taught - but then again... so is marksmanship.

    I mean, you know as I do...if it had been a black guy shooting people in a poor white church... we’d have... gun control.

    but in a sense , we do have a kind of gun control... the kind taught to the cops when aiming at unarmed poor people. And it is always poor people.

    When approaching an assailant you should be saying, “Put down that gun - that’s no way to rob a bank... you’ll go to jail... we won’t.”

    ....If you want real gun control in this country, the way to obtain it would be to really form “a well regulated militia” of poor people protecting themselves against the thievery of the rich.

    Armed take overs of banks and stock exchanges, insurance companies, and other parasites would get gun control real quick.

    But as long as it remains poor people killing poor people for chump change - they’ll let you keep your guns...

    But I don’t follow your logic on gun control.. isn’t an armed street gang a lot closer to a “Well regulated Militia?”

    than a neighborhood watch group...

    and which one gets to keep their guns?

    Comedy : Tragedy


    I am Trevon Martin

    Tragedy : Comedy

    I am Engelbert Humperdinck

    Comedy : Tragedy
    I am Oscar Grant

    Tragedy : Comedy
    I am the Man from U.N.C.L.E.

    It’s not a race problem - it is a problem with the race.
    
One in three black men will wind up in state or federal prison - 1 in 25 whites will go there - and of those whites that go to prison 75% live under the poverty line.

    Make sure you curb your dog, people gotta sleep on these streets...

    The average black household in the united states has a net worth of $6,500

    Yet the average white household is worth $111 thousand. You do the math.

    And that income gap has grown by 40% in my lifetime.

    Today in America, we have a greater income gap today than there was in South Africa at the heart of apartheid...

    We are moving backwards as The Supreme Court demolishes the voting rights laws we fought so hard for during the so called civil-rights-era.

    Tragedy : Comedy
    I am Clarence Thomas

    Comedy : Tragedy
    I am Freddy Gray

    Comedy : Tragedy
    Tragedy : Comedy

    I am Phylliss Diller

    This is not a black problem or a white problem, it is a class problem... but systemic racial prejudice has kept far too many blacks below the poverty line... So that it is not just a class problem...

    it is an American problem.

    Tragedy : Comedy
    Comedy : Tragedy
    I am Jeb Bush,
    Tragedy : Comedy
    Comedy : Tragedy
    I am Chris Christie,
    Tragedy : Comedy
    Comedy : Tragedy
    I am Mike Huckabee,
    I am Ted Cruz,
    I am George Pataki, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio
    Tragedy : Comedy
    Comedy : Tragedy
    I am Hillary Clinton...
    Tragedy : Comedy
    Comedy : Tragedy

    I am Donald Trump

    I envision a day when a man is judged by the contents of his character and not the contents of his wallet.


    It is not a race Problem it is a problem with the race.

    Upcoming Events:
    Friday, July 10th, 2015  6:00
    Oregon Country Faire
    Shady Grove Stage
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/



    Saturday, July 11th, 2015  2:00
    Oregon Country Faire
    Community Village
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/



    Sunday, July 12th, 2015  2:00
    Oregon Country Faire
    Energy Park. Keasey Stage
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/



    Sunday, July 12th, 2015  4:45
    Oregon Country Faire
    Blue Moon Stage
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/



    Sunday, July 12th, 2015  Dark
    Oregon Country Faire
    The Library Show
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Friday, July 17th, 2015  5:50 Pot Luck 7 PM Show
    Tsunami Books
    Mike Myers Presents
    2585 Willamette St 
Eugene, OR 97405
    phone: mmeyer@efn.org



    Saturday, July 18th, 2015  6:30 PM
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show
    Florence Unitarian Fellowship
    Hwy 101 and Heceta Beach Road (just north of Florence) 
Florence, OR
    phone: Call Stu for more info 541 997-2997



    Sunday, July 19th, 2015  8:30 pm
    Chris & Paul play withAnne Feeney, Dana Lyons, and Amy Sue Berlin
    Alberta Rose Theatre
    3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, or 97211
    PRICE: $10.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
    website: http://www.cowswithguns.com/shows/anne-feeney-teamsters-turtles-together-last-tour/
    This will be an incredible show!





    Monday, July 20th, 2015  7:00 PM
    With Paul Benoit and Amy Sue Berlin
    The Public Library
    825 NW Wade St
Estacada, OR



    Thursday, July 23rd, 2015  9:00 PM
    The Chris CHandler and Paul Benoit Show
    Egans Ballard Jam House
    1707 NW Market Street 
Seattle, WA 98107
    phone: 206-789-1621
    website: http://www.ballardjamhouse.com



    Saturday, July 25th, 2015
    with Jen Delyth
    Seattle Scottish Highlands Festival
    45224 284th Ave SE
Enumclaw, WA
    website: http://www.sshga.org/home.htm
    67th Annual NW Scottish Highland Games at the formerly known as the King County Fair Grounds showing off Jen's Fabulous Art Work



    Sunday, July 26th, 2015
    with Jen Delyth
    Seattle Scottish Highlands Festival
    45224 284th Ave SE
Enumclaw, WA
    website: http://www.sshga.org/home.htm
    67th Annual NW Scottish Highland Games at the formerly known as the King County Fair Grounds showing off Jen's Fabulous Art Work



    Wednesday, July 29th, 2015  5:00 PM
    Early Show
    Oberon's Tavern
    45 N. Main Street 
Ashland, OR
    phone: (541) 482-2316
    website: http://oberonstavern.com/



    Friday, July 31st, 2015  7:00 PM
    Chris and Paul
    The Monkey House
    1638 University ave 
Berkeley, CA
    website: http://www.monkeyhousetheater.com



    Saturday, August 1st, 2015  7:00
    with Paul Benoit
    Bazaar Cafe
    5927 California Street
San Francisco, CA 94121
    website: http://www.bazaarcafe.com/



    Thursday, August 20th, 2015  7:00 PM
    Storytelling Showdown
    Awaken Cafe
    1429 Broadway
Oakland, CA



    Saturday, August 22nd, 2015
    Kinetic Carnivale
    Mendocino County Museum
    400 East Commercial Street
Willits, CA 95490
    phone: 707-459-2736
    website: www.KineticCarnivale.com