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The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort 2017

    April 2017 Muse and Whirlerd Retort






    The Hive Brain
    By Chris Chandler
    March 31, 2017
    Cabo, Baja California Sur, Mexico

    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    Each new measurement of the known universe tells a confusing story.
    And every confusing story creates more to be measured.

    Facts are no longer remembered, but stored in an off brain facility.

    Our frontal lobes, once our mighty claws and talons, have been removed and stored in a fragile a hand held device, one that requires a monthly payment plan
    - with out which -
    you are no longer connected to
    the hive brain.

    Without this corporate account,
    we are banished from the new society.

    The hive brain is massive, all encompassing, growing.
    Yet, our own brain is shrinking.

    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    Math skills, gone in the ‘70s with hand held calculators. Multiplication tables, gone the way of the dodo bird,
    and Block-Buster Video.

    Mark Twain once said, “Never trust a man that can’t figure out more than one way to auto-correct a word.”

    It’s true, I read it on the internet.

    I was once arrested and striped of my cell phone,
    but could not make my one phone call
    because I did not know anyone’s phone number.

    Global Positioning Satellites suck our sense of direction though the vacuum known as dependance.

    I can navigate anywhere and nowhere simultaneously.

    As a species we hear more music than anyone else in human history.
    Yet,
    together we can barely sing, “Happy Birthday.”

    Though I stand on the shoulders of giants,
    I am still an ant.

    I communicate with more people on a daily basis through social media than the entire cities my ancestors created. Yet, I communicate with fewer upon every tweet.

    I ban who I want to from my universe, and admit only those I desire.
    Creating a cult of clones.
    Building Berlin Walls, Great Walls of China,
    Mexican Border walls
    of the soul.

    I can read more newspapers than anyone before me,
    but with every article I read,
    the next is more narrowly tailored to me,
    and the next ... based on what I last read.
    The ads I see - tailored to me.

    I am drowning in a sea of me.

    My body of knowledge is growing...
    thinner...
    Just as as a soap bubble expands...
    it gets larger...
    However, as it expands
    its walls grow thinner.

    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    We live in a new expansive universe,
    but its lens is pointed in one direction.
    Inward.

    Endless cycles of inward looking.
    Narcissus mastrubating in a hall of mirrors
    in the vain attempt to inbreed with himself.

    Inscestuous Ignominy

    This new inbred self, at anytime, CAN reach millions.

    DOES reach millions.


    You too,
    are a news reporter.

    You too,
    are a musician.

    You too,
    are a visual artist.

    You too,
    are a poet.

    You too,
    have access to,
    and can reach the whole of the universe.

    But the true poet,
    musician,
    reporter,
    artist
    must have a lens that points not just inward
    but outward.

    We must see the world beyond the sphere of self.

    But today,
    every news article I read is researched with the vigor of a 4th grade social studies student plagiarizing his text book
    to turn in his assignment by midterm deadline and be patted on the head by the denizens of dumbyland.

    So we release... release... release...
    A smorgasbord of half baked,
    half researched,
    half thought through,
    fully self referenced,
    hypotheses.

    All in an urgent need to
    get more likes,
    more followers...
    more retweets...
    more “friends.”

    So that, for a second...
    One second...
    We can feel that someone...
    somewhere out there,

    Loves us.
    **************

    H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Upcoming Events:
    Saturday, April 1st, 2017  10 AM
    Tartan Day with Jen Delyth and Celtic Art Studio
    Ardenwood Farm
    Fremont, CA
    website: http://www.eastbayscots.org/



    Sunday, April 2nd, 2017  8 PM
    Opening for David Rovics
    The Back Room
    1984 bonita avenue
Berkeley, CA
    website: http://backroommusic.com
    i'm booked into the backroom, a cool-looking new listening room venue at 1984 bonita avenue in berkeley, for 8 pm april 2.  any efforts you can make at spreading the word would be most welcome...  as well as your company, and your participation.



    Monday, April 3rd, 2017  7:00
    Celebrating the 15th Anniverary of Poetry Express
    The Monkey House
    1638 University Ave
Berkeley, CA
    website: https://www.facebook.com/monkeyhousetheater/



    Thursday, April 13th, 2017  7:00
    Hosting Storytelling Open Mic "Do Tell!"
    The Monkey House
    1638 University Ave
Berkeley, CA
    website: https://www.facebook.com/monkeyhousetheater/



    Saturday, April 29th, 2017  10 AM
    Sacramento Highland Games with Jen Delyth and Celtic Art Studio
    Yolo County Faire Grounds
    Woodland, CA
    website: http://sacramentoscotgames.org/



    Sunday, April 30th, 2017  10 AM
    Sacramento Highland Games with Jen Delyth and Celtic Art Studio
    Yolo County Faire Grounds
    Woodland, CA
    website: http://sacramentoscotgames.org/



    Saturday, May 27th, 2017  10 AM
    Costa Mesa Scotish Games with Jen Delyth and Celtic Art Studio
    Orange County Faire and Event Center
    Costa Mesa, CA
    website: http://www.scottishfest.com/



    Sunday, May 28th, 2017  10 AM
    Costa Mesa Scotish Games with Jen Delyth and Celtic Art Studio
    Orange County Faire and Event Center
    Costa Mesa, CA
    website: http://www.scottishfest.com/



    Wednesday, June 7th, 2017  Sundown
    Threadgill Sundown Concert
    Quiet Valley Ranch with John Elliott
    Kerrville, TX