Skip to main content

The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort 2022

    The Muse and Whirled Retrot June 2022

    THE MUSE AND WHIRLED RETORT

    CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT

    NEW CD AND A SMALL TOUR TO BOOT!

    I know June’s news letter is very late getting out.

    Sorry it is late. I am way out of practice at getting on the road again. I had to skip two “Poem of the Weeks.”

    First off, let me say I am very proud of the New Album with Paul Benoit. You can get a copy here: https://chrischandler.org/product/don-t-go-back-to-sleep/ either downloaded or physical CD!

    Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit

    Now available here download or physical.

    It’s great, please check it out. There are samples there too!

    I have to say, that touring now - as we are all trying to get back on our feet - has been difficult. Numbers and venues are way down. If you can help keep this act on the road you can do so at

    PayPal or paste: https://www.paypal.com/Paypalme/baldchandler

    Venmo or Paste: https://www.venmo.com/TheChrisChandlerShow

    Continuing Supporter (hell, 3 bux a month helps!)

    Patreon or Paste: https://www.patreon.com/TheChrisChandlerShow

    ********

    OK OK enough of the crass commercial announcements.

    ********

    Here is your

    M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

    June 21, 2022

    Oakland, CA

    Happy Solstice! Happy Juneteenth!

    I really tried to write something for Juneteenth, but everything I tried felt like it had already been said better, or failed to convey my sentiments.

    I am proud to say that in my lifetime, the two federal holidays that have been added to our calendar are Martin Luther King Day and Juneteenth.

    Today, (OK Yesterday) is the first Juneteenth to be recognized as a Federal Holiday. Monday Holiday. Three day weekend. I have often said the thing this country could use is a three day weekend! I have just driven from Texas (where Juneteenth originated and has been celebrated for years) to Oakland CA - the blackest city west of New Orleans. California has not yet adopted it as a state holiday.

    I feel the first federal holiday is as important as the first one. The first one was upon the one year anniversary of the arrival of Federal troops to enforce the emancipation proclamation. Recently freed slaves spontaneously celebrating their freedom. Think about that. Newly freed slaves, using their freedom to celebrate freedom, in a country that put an end to slavery at the barrel of a gun. The only country in human history to do that. And it has taken us 156 years to recognize that as a holiday. It has been a long time coming, and this happened in my life time. For that, I am proud.

    There are several myths about the date and well… you know my tag line: “Storytelling is the art of tell truth with lies.”

    Many of the myths i am happy to let slide but there is one i wanna help shut down:

    Many people say that the last of the American Slaves in the confederacy were surprised to find out that they had been freed.

    Please.

    “There was an incredibly sophisticated communication network among slaves in Texas," says Edward T. Cotham, Jr., Texas Civil War historian and author of Juneteenth, The Story Behind The Celebration. "News like that spread like wildfire. We know some slaves knew about the Emancipation Proclamation even before slaveowners."

    Of course they did.

    With that said, I hope that by next year, I can have a piece on this subject worthy of you, gentle reader. But till then, I offer a poem I wrote many years ago on the general subject of Freedom. I hope you like it:

    Freedom is

    by Chris Chandler

    I offered first choice of dueling pistols to an ATM and considered it a fair fight.

    I missed and hit the little camera above it’s head and the machine cried out with a heavy computer accent “free at last, Free at last thank god I am free at last.”

    On the corner I found freedom locked inside a 1992 Chevy Malibu. The safety belt was stuck and she could not exit the vehicle. She had been trapped there for years and was barely hanging on to life sucking substinance from miles of abandoned dreams. I ripped the parking ticket off the wind shield, put a quarter in the meter and twisted the knob untill the sign read expired.

    Sirens were wailing in the distance and freedom shook my hand.

    I untangeled the thin yellow lines from infanite highways which had ensnared her like choards of Kudzu swallowing power-lines on an Alabama back road. I bought her a tank of gas and together we took off.

    At a Texaco near Point Of Interest, Arkansas she let me drive. I glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed I was no longer there.

    Until I saw her hitchhiking. I pulled over and she had ripped a road sign from the ground that read interstate forty straight ahead and began clubbing me in to a pile of pulverized Vidala onions. She shoved me in the trunk feeding me gas station hotdogs and dissolution.

    It was dark so I can’t say for sure but I think we cut cookies

    in a parking lot for ten years until we ran out of gas.

    The only thing I know for sure is that

    when she finally raised the trunk we were in the same gas station parking lot and freedom had not changed a bit.

    She left me there dizzy, alone and I was forced to fill out a missing persons report.

    The cops reluctantly wrote down my description as I said that she was beautiful.

    She is ugly, tired and inspired. full of life. Death itself.

    She is herself a road side diner - open all night.

    Freedom is a full tank of gas.

    She is a blank yellow legal pad sitting on the driver seat of a $250 pick up truck. sold as is.

    She is coffee black when on the run and with cream and sugar at sunset.

    The cop interrupted me and said, “No, what does she look like?”

    I said, “Freedom is glancing in the mirror and not noticing yourself.”

    On a cold day, Freedom is getting your tongue stuck on the frozen metal while giving a blow job to a bronze statue of the city fathers just because they need one so.

    Freedom is using the word blow job so that your list of platitudes will not wind up printed on a poster hanging in the bath room room of an insurance salesman living in the suburbs of a minor American city.

    She dances with strangers.

    She is dancing alone.

    Freedom is dancing with your lover.

    Dancing with your mother.

    Dancing with your ex.

    Freedom is tipping well when you can’t afford it.

    Freedom is waxing your moustache into a Salvador Dali and letting small children play with the curly cues.

    Freedom is drawing moustaches and underarm hair on advertisements hanging in the subway then writing a letter to the ad company thanking them for printing the ads that way.

    Freedom is giving your hat to a total stranger just because she looks good in it.

    She is free from want,

    a slave to want.

    Freedom is premature reincarnation.

    Freedom is making eye contact with the blind.

    The cop looked confused until I spotted her out of the corner of my eye gathering a group of pedestrians for a rousing chorus of “No more chanting! No more chanting! No more chanting!”

    Freedom is thanking a god you don’t believe in.

    Freedom is knowing that the world could be no more imperfect than if it were absolutely flawless.

    Freedom is losing a contest, shaking the hand of the winner, looking them in the eye and saying, No hard feelings.

    Freedom is having hard feelings.

    Freedom is taking those hard feelings and tying them to a stick so that they can be used as a hammer to build a cathedral for your for the one that made you feel that way.

    Freedom is obeying stop lights you see on TV.

    Freedom is giving credit to the space as one of the letters in the alphabet.

    Freedom is a delicacy, a goal, laughter, a truth -- it is a weakness, a vice, a virtue.

    She is the memories that the smell of bubble gum calls forth.

    Freedom is building a house just so you can know what it�s like to live out doors

    While she can be found in a dung heap. Freedom the knowledge that the dung heap is not the only place she can be found.

    Freedom is smoking cigarettes when you don’t smoke and not smoking when you do.

    Freedom is filling ten pages in a yellow legal pad that was sitting on the drivers side seat of a $250 pickup truck, purchased as is.

    Freedom is winning a contest and spending all of the prize money on the runners up.

    Freedom is buying raffle tickets and writing down the name of the person who sold it to you

    Eventually the cop got frustrated and wandered off in the direction of the crowd that had gathered still yelling, “No more chanting! No more chanting! No more chanting! Arresting them all for civil obedience.

    Last I heard, she is still in county lockup some where north of the Macon county line. I visited her once though I am not convinced she recognized me.

    Though fifteen years had passed her trial had still not come up and no one had posted bail. She offered me first choice of a dueling pistol and pointed me towards an ATM.

    I considered it a fair fight.

    ***********

    We are looking forward to returning to the Oregon Country Faire and some dates beyond that. If you or in the Pacific NW and would like to present us in a house concert or lawn party. Just let me know.

    Again.

    PayPal or paste: https://www.paypal.com/Paypalme/baldchandler

    Venmo or Paste: https://www.venmo.com/TheChrisChandlerShow

    Continuing Supporter (hell, 3 bux a month helps!)

    Patreon or Paste: https://www.patreon.com/TheChrisChandlerShow

    H.E.R.E.’.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Thursday, June 23rd, 2022

    THE KATE WOLF FESTIVAL BLACK OAK RANCH

    Laytonville, CA

    Website: https://katewolfmusicfestival.com/

    with Jen Delyth sitting in and hosting open stages

    Friday, June 24th, 2022

    THE KATE WOLF FESTIVAL BLACK OAK RANCH

    Laytonville, CA

    Website: https://katewolfmusicfestival.com/

    with Jen Delyth sitting in and hosting open stages

    Saturday, June 25th, 2022

    THE KATE WOLF FESTIVAL BLACK OAK RANCH

    Laytonville, CA

    Website: https://katewolfmusicfestival.com/

    with Jen Delyth sitting in and hosting open stages

    Sunday, June 26th, 2022

    THE KATE WOLF FESTIVAL BLACK OAK RANCH

    Laytonville, CA

    Website: https://katewolfmusicfestival.com/

    with Jen Delyth sitting in and hosting open stages

    Sunday, June 26th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Sunday, June 26th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Sunday, July 3rd, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Friday, July 8th, 2022 1:40 PM to 2:40 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE BLUE MOON STAGE

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Saturday, July 9th, 2022 11:00 AM to 12:00 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE BLUE MOON STAGE

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Saturday, July 9th, 2022 3:30 PM to 4:30 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE THE ANNE FEENEY MEMORIAL SET FRONT PORCH STAGE

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Sunday, July 10th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Sunday, July 10th, 2022 9:00 PM to 10:30 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE THE LIBRARY SHOW

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Thursday, July 14th, 2022

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW RETURNS TO COTTAGE GROVE THE AXE AND FIDDLE

    657 E Main StCottage Grove, OR 97424

    Phone: 541-942-5942

    Website: https://axeandfiddle.com/

    Friday, July 15th, 2022

    EUGENE! TSUNAMI BOOKS

    2585 Willamette St.

    Eugene, OR 97405

    Phone: 541-349-8986

    Price: $15.00

    Website: http://www.tsunamibooks.org/

    Saturday, July 16th, 2022 7:00 PM

    HOUSE CONCERT IN PORTLAND HOME OF DEAN AND ABBY BOUDOURIS

    PM me for the address.

    Sunday, July 17th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Sunday, July 17th, 2022 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW RETURNS TO FLORENCE THE FLORENCE SENIOR CENTER

    1570 KingwoodFlorence, OR 97439

    Phone: (541) 997-8844

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/pages/category/Senior-Center/Florence-Senior-Center-1735908796627939/

    Friday, July 22nd, 2022

    THE ENUMCLAW SCOTTISH HIGHLAND GAMES (WITH JEN DELYTH) ENUMCLAW EXPO CENTER

    Website: https://www.sshga.org/daily-event-schedule/

    Saturday, July 23rd, 2022

    THE ENUMCLAW SCOTTISH HIGHLAND GAMES (WITH JEN DELYTH) ENUMCLAW EXPO CENTER

    Website: https://www.sshga.org/daily-event-schedule/

    Sunday, July 24th, 2022

    THE ENUMCLAW SCOTTISH HIGHLAND GAMES (WITH JEN DELYTH) ENUMCLAW EXPO CENTER

    Website: https://www.sshga.org/daily-event-schedule/

    Sunday, July 24th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Tuesday, July 26th, 2022 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW RETURNS TO PORT TOWNSEND RAIN SHADOW RECORDING STUDIO

    200 Battery Way #315 (Ft Warden)Port Townsend, WA

    Website: http://rainshadowrecording.com/

    Wednesday, July 27th, 2022 7:00 PM

    HOUSE CONCERT IN BELLINGHAM THE HOME OF CARYN SIMMONS

    DM me for the addressBellingham, WA

    Friday, July 29th, 2022 7:00 PM to 9:00

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW RETURN TO SEATTLE! EGAN’S BALLARD JAM HOUSE

    1707 NW Market StreetSeattle, WA 98107

    Phone: 206-789-1621

    Website: http://www.ballardjamhouse.com

    Sunday, July 31st, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Sunday, August 7th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    Sunday, August 14th, 2022 1:00 PM

    THE POEM OF THE WEEK FACEBOOK LIVE STREAM

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chrischandler.org

    Each Week I do a poem for you. Sometimes with special guests! Always with "Fun Texas Facts" and your "Moment of Spin"

    chrischandler.org

    You are subscribed as baldchandler@yahoo.com.

    unsubscribe

    powered by slab

    updated: 3 months ago