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Chris Chandler's Muse and Whirled Retort 02-2020

Chris Chandler's Muse and Whirled Retort February, 2020
newsletter image02-02-20
(Super Bowl Sunday)
Highland Park, NJ

Hey everybody,

It's that time again. FIRST THINGS FIRST Damn it!

I wish to thank all of the people that have contributed to two different fund raisers to help me with this new album project, "Working on a Building."

Thank you!

Also, to those that donated to a fund raiser set up by Amy Sue Berlin to me help out as I was helping to gather Anne Feeney's belongings, memoires and collected song lyrics to ship them to various Libraries, Museums, archivists and road side diners from Pittsburgh, PA to Smedjebacken, Sweden. A noble task for sure.

Thank You!

I am sorry that I have been so overwhelmed by my own multiple moves, motions, modifications and myriad of upheavals that has left my personal possessions scattered in storage bins, attics, basements, trunks of cars and road side diners from Highland Park, NJ to Oakland, CA and back again. That is why I have not written each of you a personal note. I will. I promise.

I will also contact each of you about how to send all of you that donated a copy of this (my 18th) record. "Working on a Building" as an additional token of my gratitude.

If you still would like to donate to this the worthwhile project you still can by one:


I want to help Chris Chandler make this record via Go Fund Me click here or paste: https://www.gofundme.com/f/the-chris-chandler-shows-new-record

I want to help Chris Chandler make this record via Facebook Fund Raiser click here or paste: https://www.facebook.com/donate/759435421217670/

OR!

You can simply go to my website and click on to the coffee can and donate directly. click here or paste: https://chrischandler.org

OK OK OK OK OK OK OK OK! ENOUGH ALREADY!

Lots of you have noticed all kinds of odd moves in Chandler-land of late and have been demanding an explanation. Thank you for asking. Let me try to address some of them:

Question: So, Chandler what's up with the frequent moves? We thought you were headed to Eugene, and even saw pictures proving you were there. What is going on?

Answer: The truth is, I did go to Eugene to work on the new album with my good friend and music director Sean Shanahan, but the truth is, once I got there, I realized I was woefully under-prepared. So, I came back to the East Coast to carve and hone and whittle words down to their chief components grind them up into a powder in the hopes of reconstituting them with an extra splash of dazzle juice hoping they will souffle into a splendid soliloquy. The dish is still rising.

Sean and I are in contact almost every day, and I plan to return very soon with a suitcase full of amendments.

Question: What is all this about Washington, DC? Are you moving back there?

Answer: You might remember that I sometimes subsidize my lucrative career as a spoken word artist/ folk singer by being a stage-hand. I am proud to say that every nickel I have ever made in my life has been on the stage. From performing wind up monkey to stagemanaging-truss-climbing-wrench-slinging-emcee-merch-monger.

(if ya have any doubts about it check this out: )

https://youtu.be/DrwH9TthmNw

You might also remember I was living in Washington, DC before I moved out west. They wanted me back.

So yes, in short the easiest answer is: yes, because I have work there – but more on why that is only the easiest answer in a second.

Question: We noticed on Facebook and Instagram that you have been bouncing all over the place with no shows, wut's-up-w-dat?

Answer: I have been blazing the thin highways of fat America for over thirty years. This is the longest – and actually first – time I have taken off in all of those years. I needed to. The last half of 2019 was very rough for me. The thing is, I haven't just been taking a break from performing every night, but also the abhorrent minutia of booking and all that goes with it. I may need some assistance getting this summer booked. (see below)

Question: OK, fair enough, but we thought you were going to move to Eugene after you left Oakland, what happened?

Answer: As many of you know, I was in Pittsburgh helping my long-time running mate and fellow rabble rouser, Anne Feeney, when I realized I would not be returning to Oakland.

My first thought OF COURSE was Eugene, OR. I love her. She has always been my escape hatch. After so many years of performing at the Oregon Country Faire, I am sure I have more friends per-capita there than anywhere else in the world.

But to answer your question, part of taking care of Anne was to deliver her safe and sound to just outside NYC to stay with her niece (a woman my own age whose house we went to because it happened to be close to the airport… in short, a coincidence.)

The plan was ferry her to Newark bound for Sweden.

I arrived in New Jersey with my heroine in tow, safe and sound and was preparing to move on… heartbroken over the Oakland ordeal…

Forlorn and wretched...

…Licking my wounds and ready to limp off to the next town…

My hand was on the door knob…

knap sack draped cross my slumped shoulders…

When I felt someone tap me on the back…

I turned…

Shuddered, and stopped in my tracks...

My boots adhered to the floorboards,
shy of the threshold...


I felt the clouds part that late afternoon, as a single ray of sunshine shot thorough the oyster colored Jersey heavens…


and after thirty plus years on the road I discovered for the first time why they call this "The Garden State."

She was resplendent…

Radiant…
as she smiled, shook her head, and said,
"No, you are not leaving like that."

She made me feel dizzy, faint or maybe I simply lost my balance...

the only thing I know for sure…

is that I fell into her arms...

The Arms of Anne Feeney's niece.

Kimberly.

And it is here I shall remain.

Does that answer your questions?

• * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
  
  

And now…

T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

Highland Park, NJ
February 02, 2020
(Superbowl Sunday)
(this is an encore edition that somehow seems appropriate)

It's like when you don't like football, and it's Super Bowl Sunday

Let them curse our kaleidoscope heart.
We'll snicker through their pastel heaven.
We'll fold our defeats into a defiant hat
And search for shoes to match.

We could shoplift in the finest of thrift stores,
And never ask for a pardon,
For the zipper of the seersucker sky is open,
And god loves us so much he has a hard on.

The thugs of virtue and their riot squads
Will be after us for this,
And I always felt there was no one
I could talk about this with.

I fell in love with you yesterday,
In the bank when we were standing in line.
The teller must have thought that I had a gun.
I was just depositing a roll of dimes.

She threw her hands up in the air,
Screamed and then hit the floor.
Everyone else did the same
Though neither of us knew what for.

As we lie there in the silence,
Unsure if there was a crime,
You smiled, and said you understood when I said,
"I feel like this all the time."

I'm glad to see you understand
Why my head's about to split,
And I always felt there was no one
I could talk about this with.

Before I knew that you felt this way,
I had lived a quiet life,
Sleeping beneath a manhole cover
Unsure of my left from my right.

In my basement workshop,
Drawing lines and smoking cigarettes,
I built you an alternative universe,
But I haven't worked the bugs out yet.

Every time I put the finishing touches on the black holes,
I feel that I am done.
Time starts moving backwards,
And I lose my opposable thumbs.

And so you see I had no choice,
I simply had to quit,
And I always felt there was no one
I could talk about this with.

I tell you this in the strictest of confidence,
For I trust that we're both friends.
I went and sat in the laundromat
And confessed all of my sins.

To an understanding washer and dryer,
And when the rinse cycle fell,
I was absolved, and a nasty gravy stain
Was removed as well.

An old man's rayon shirt cried out,
"How did it come to this?"
And I always felt there was no one
I could talk about this with.

You too heard the rooster crow,
At the brink of kingdom come.
You rolled over and mashed the snooze button,
And we slept through Armageddon.

Armageddon might prove to be a good night,
For you and I to go out.
We could have an intimate evening,
We're sure to avoid the crowds.

If everyone is raptured up to heaven,
We'll get good seats in the theater, they say.
Like when you don't like football,
And it's Super Bowl Sunday.

We'll be on call for the next apocalypse,
But I think I'm going to call in sick,
And I always thought there was no one
I could talk about this with.

By Chris Chandler and Phil Rockstroh from the Collaborations album 1999

T.H.A.N.K. Y.O.U. !

Special Thank you to Sean and Lisa. You not only rock, you ARE rocks.

Thank you to all of you for your offers to help with temporary shelter, and indispensable encouragement in Eugene…especially Jarrod Kaplan, Peter Wilde, and Michelle Sellers.

Thank you to all who came out to and performed at my farewell party in Oakland! Especially Bob Reid and Judi Jager.

Thanks to the Oakland crew: Barry Syska, Ira Marlowe, John Elliott, Dawn Oberg, Jimmy and Carol; Hali and Randy; Kamaljit, Arthur, and Benjamin; Tom and Shelley; Pat and Sandy.

Bryan and Danielle.

Daniel Flessis and Danielle.

Mary, Matt and Chad.

Frank and Dorothy.

Katie Mae, Pauli,

And, of course, Kimberly who has saved my life more than once now.

H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.


May, 2020
22Friday
Kerrville, Tx8
Kerrville Folk Festival
Main Stage
[ more info ]
June, 2020
12Friday
Telford PA.7
The Xtreme Folk Festival at Country Creek Winery
Main Stage
[ more info ]
13Saturday
Telford PA.7
The Xtreme Folk Festival at Country Creek Winery
Main Stage
[ more info ]

Would like to do a quick east coast swing here – looking at Boston, NYC, Pittsburgh, Philly, Baltimore, DC
Can you help

July, 2020
10Friday
Venita, OD
The Oregon Country Faire
The Oregon Country Faire
[ more info ]

11Saturday
Venita, OD
The Oregon Country Faire
The Oregon Country Faire
[ more info ]

12Sunday
Venita, OD
The Oregon Country Faire
The Oregon Country Faire
[ more info ]
looking at a west coast thing here… Portland, Seattle, Oregon Coast, Bellingham, Tacoma, Vancouver, Victoria
Can you help?

updated: 2 months ago