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The Chris Chandler Show

  • Things Will Never Be the Same/The Times They Are A-Changin

    Things have never been the same/The Times They Are A-Changin.

    Chandler, Rockstroh/Bob Dylan



    Come gather 'round people

    Wherever you roam

    And admit that the waters

    Around you have grown

    And accept it that soon

    You'll be drenched to the bone.

    If your time to you

    Is worth savin'



    Things have never been the same.

    Things have never been the same.

    Things have never been the same





    since the big bang....

    since the first cosmic gasses cooled into liquid and vast lifeless oceans began to seethe with DNA and the seas began to swim with life-- and some of that life didn't like it in the ocean where its parent's lived and thus hauled itself onto the land.... This event caused all the conservative fish to cry out in alarm at the intrepid lung fish: "Don't you go and do it. Fish should stay at home!  We live in water. We swim-- We don't walk. We'll lose our very fishness  if we were ever caught walking."  



    Alliances were formed to stop this sort of thing.   Slogans were shaped to fit their purpose: "Things will never been the same!"  "What ever happened to traditional values?" The Coalition of Concerned Gill-Breathers cried out. While their Paranoid prophet  - a shell fish by the name of  Nostradomus - predicted a dark future of death camps called Red Lobster-- and an evil tyrant named Long John Silver.



    Then you better start swimmin'

    Or you'll sink like a stone

    For the times they are a-changin'.







    Things will never be the same.



    Right now-- at this very instant-- a sperm cell is fusing with an ovulating egg-- and neither are ever going to be the same again....



    Do they have second thoughts?  



    Perhaps they are nostalgic for their carefree single days?



    Was their intimacy achieved too quickly?



    Perhaps causing dysfunctional moments to arise? "Look I told you that you could move into my womb-- but you moved in and got  your DNA all mixed up with mine! Now, I don't know where you start and I begin.    This is causing me some real problems with my personal boundary issues!"





    And that fetus grows into a breathing infant-- and is soon pulled from its mother's breast and weaned-- And mother and child will  never the same again....





    Come mothers and fathers

    Throughout the land

    And don't criticize

    What you can't understand

    Your sons and your daughters

    Are beyond your command

    Your old road is

    Rapidly agin'.

    Please get out of the new one

    If you can't lend your hand

    For the times they are a-changin'.







    And let not ever talk about puberty (which some claim is a stage of life-- but I posit it is more of an affliction)...



    For Puberiy leads us to freedom

    ...Oh freedom, now there is a development that can be even more bewildering than puberty-- and every bit as ugly to witness: And freedom can be really ugly: A fact that anyone who has ever watched cable access TV can testify to.



    Since I've witnessed freedom in all its excess I have never been the same again.



    Freedom forces me to make such daunting choices: there so many different religions to chose from -- so many banks, so many kinds of checking accounts so many ways to finance an automobile, so manay options on one Ford Taurus

    ... So many roads to take, and then, so many gas stations along each of those roads, all with  regular, unleaded, super unleaded -- not to mention varieties of chips on display. which one to choosethe choice will  transform a portion of myself and consequently the whole world. So which will it be?  Paper or plastic?



    The line it is drawn

    The curse it is cast

    The slow one now

    Will later be fast

    As the present now

    Will later be past

    The order is

    Rapidly fadin'.

    And the first one now

    Will later be last

    For the times they are a-changin'.
    1. . .Alright... Let's cut the high-flown crap: WE KNOW WHAT WE HAVE CHOSEN--and we will never be the same again....


    We sat on the sofa and cast our vote with our remote: And we became the Republic of Infotania in the Virtual States of American....



    Red and white blood shot eyes fixed as A blue light flickers illuminating the darkness... revealing a huge, glorious beast that is everywhere-- but exists nowhere....
    1. . . it has ten thousand mouths that speak at once and it chatters on and on about power and sex and god-- and, most importantly, delicious salty snacks....
    2. . . it provides us not with power nor sex-- nor rouses god from his senile sleep-- but the salty snacks are available just about everywhere.




    Millions of years of evolutionary  change... We rose from the oceans' floors -- We prodigal lung-fish should now return to the waters edge, gloating: "We are triumphant-- we rule the world-- and we bring you Pringles!"





    It'll soon shake your windows

    And rattle your walls

    For the times they are a-changin'.









    While we still swim in a vast life less ocean of  bad news, shocking tales, and graphic re-enactment....



    What do we tell the children?



    And keep your eyes wide

    The chance won't come again



    What do we tell our mangled hearts?



    And don't speak too soon

    For the wheel's still in spin



    What do we tell the disappointed innocents turned devout cynics?



    And there's no tellin' who

    That it's namin'.

    For the loser now





    Will be later to win

    For the times they are a-changin'.



    Tell them: They will never be the same again.





    Only the extinct do not change.







    Come gather 'round people

    Wherever you roam

    And admit that the waters

    Around you have grown

    And accept it that soon

    You'll be drenched to the bone.

    If your time to you

    Is worth savin'

    Then you better start swimmin'

    Or you'll sink like a stone

    For the times they are a-changin'

    So Fish and Fetus, Suckling infant and Sulking Cynic: We may never be the same again, but this is meant to sound optimistic for this means:



    We are not stuck this way.  



    We can Change.  

    We will Change.  

    And we will never be the same again.