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The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort Archives 2008

    August Muse and Whirled Retort 2008

    August Muse and Whirled Retort 2008

    Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Performing in Port Townsend, WA

    chandler - the website

    M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    By Chris Chandler
    Vol IX issue ix
    July 30, 2008
    Truckee, CA

    T.A.B.L.E. .O.F. .C.O.N.T.E.N.T.S.

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    The Box Set is here! The Box Set is here! Yes the 20th Anniversary Box set is in my hot little hands! It is a four CD/ 1 DVD featuring highlights from each of the 13 CDs I have released over the last 20 years – Also a few selections from some of the Cassette tapes (remember cassettes) That I released in the days before CDs existed. "50 from 20"
    50 songs from 20 years on the road. It is very exciting. Click here to order your copy now!

    The shows with Paul Benoit have been going terrific!  Wow! The High Sierra, Oregon Country Fair!  We are already planning a trip around the red neck Rivera – so if you have ideas – right around election time for shows in the south Texas to Florida – please let me know.

    Also!  If you have any association with a college or school that could hire us – please drop me a line.  A student?  Faculty?  Think about it,  

    OK, I'll shut up now I know you just want to read the news letter so here it is:  I know – I usually send it on the 1st – but under the circumstances I have decided to Pre-send it.


    M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    By Chris Chandler
    Vol IX issue ix
    July 30, 2008
    Truckee, CA

    Pardon me?  Did you say, "Pre-pardon!"  

    Pre Pardon?  

    Are you kidding me?  George Bush has the right to Pre Pardon?

    Well why not?  The very seal of his presidency has been  Pre-convicting Terror suspects.  It only makes sense in this Malice in Blunderland presidency.  

    What's up is down. What's red is green. What's big is small.  I guess one of the unforeseen consequences is what is black is white – hence Barack Obama.  (I'm sorry – I can't say that because, not only did he hit a 40 foot jump shot – all net - He bowled a 39.  It is also rumored that he is not particularly proficient at Badminton.  Sheeze what's the guy gotta do eat a watermelon?)

    Malice in Blunderland.  What's right is wrong, or what's right is left. What's left is… a barren dessert surrounded by oil rigs, caribou carcasses as we drill our way out of foreign oil dependency - which is like screwing your way to virginity.  Personally, I wish they would find oil in the middle of Times Square.  I bet then they would figure out a way to do it with out soiling the environment.  
    But hang on a cotton-pickin second here. Back up.  What did you say?  "Pre-pardon?"  Can the president actually pardon somebody who has not even been charged, let alone convicted of a crime?
    You bet-ya. According to the explainer in Slate Magazine: In 1866, the Supreme Court ruled that the pardon power "extends to every offence known to the law, and may be exercised at any time after its commission, either before legal proceedings are taken, or during their pendency, or after conviction and judgment."
    There don't appear to be any limits to the president's pardon power.  It seems to have its genesis in the very thing that we pride ourselves in having ousted: The English monarchy.  "It's good to be the king."
    Over the years, the Supreme Court has granted the president wide birth under Article II, Section 2 of the Constitution.  So, once an act has been committed, the president can issue a pardon at any time—regardless of whether charges have even been filed. "It's good to be the king."
    What's good for the goose is good for the gander, and I like mine slow roasted with duck sauce.  
    Richard Nixon had not actually been accused of a crime – I mean charged with a crime, I think we all accused him of crimes –but he had not been charged with a crime before he was pardoned by his ummm… unelected hand picked predecessor, Gerald "Our Long National Nightmare is Over" Ford.  On the other end of the John Phillip Sousa's musical scale, those young Americans that choose to move to Canada coincidentally as their draft numbers were being called – had not actually been convicted of a crime either when they were pardoned by Jimmy "I Have Lusted In My Heart" Carter.  Thanks, Jimmy.
    It is not clear, however, if the president can pardon HIMSELF from future convictions.  Though it is plausible.  Really. No, Really. "It's good to be the king."
    I wanna know if you can run for president for the purpose of pardoning yourself later?
    It's like the old Romper Room program as directed by Tim Burton.  "Mirror Mirror on the wall who is the evilest one of all."  I see Dick, and Donald, John and Alberto, Scooter, Condoleezza and Carl.  And look there is little George.  Even in this Malice in Blunderland Presidency what's evil is still… well… Evil.
    The Constitution says that the president "shall have the power to grant reprieves and pardons for offenses against the United States, except in cases of impeachment." This sentence (like many in the Ten Commandments) can be interpreted many ways. And since no court has issued a decree on this issue it remains an open question.
    And in the Bush Administration an open question seems to be an invitation.  
    I mean we led a Pre-emptive strike,  we've had Pre-convictions, Pre-surveillance, we threatened to invade Iran because they exist in a state of Pre-Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Our president was elected Pre-vote counting. John McCain accuses the press of Pre-ordaining Obama, and our mission in Iraq was Pre-accomplished.  
    Hell, I can't even get pre approved for a credit card.  Actually, I can get Pre-approved it is the getting approved part that I can't seem to accomplish.  Malice in Blunderland.
    A low level presidential envoy went to Iraq without Pre-conditions. (Oh, by the way isn't that exactly what this Malice in Blunderland Presidency warned us against when it was suggested by Barack Obama?  But worked in Libya?  But I digress.)

    The visit brought down the price of oil.  Gas prices dropped six cents a gallon.  I figure this turn of events will cause Generous George to offer the poor beleaguered oil companies a Pre-Bailout.

    I think it is far from Pre-mature to use this Pre-cedence as the Pre-text to Pre-indict the Pre-pubecent-acting Pre-sident, Pre-election, before he has the chance to Pre-pardon himself.
    T.H.E. .A.N.N.O.U.N.C.M.E.N.T.S.
    The deadline for this is midnight tonight but if you  would like to sign the petition to impeach the weasel here is the link:

    The Box set is selling well and I am thrilled to have it!  It is also available on flash drive!  How cool is that?   Yes, you get a 1 gig flash drive with all of the songs, the videos, the art work the liner notes.  Super cool.
    Paul and I are looking for dates in the south around election time.  I should have a trajectory put together soon.
    Be warned that 8-8-8 is coming. You WILL get a newsletter.  Just like you did on 222 333 444 and so on.

    T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.!.

    Paul Benoit, Michelle Sellers, Jason Carpenter, Dave Margulise, Roy Carter, Seneca Hennrich, Sagovia Bader, Poobah, Caroline Wonderland, Papa Mali, Lynx, Tina Margulise, The Paschal Winery, Cornflower,  Peter Wild, Linda Divendorf, Mulvey, Frankie Hernandez, Mathew, Amy Sullivan, Amy Berlin, Green Mtn Grass - especially Pickles, Rachel Ferguson, Caryn Simmons, Gangus, Adam and Kris, Brian QTN, Sunny James, David Rovics, Peter in Estacada, Peter Bush and Cayote, Collete's, Jerry and Jessica,  George Mann, Stu Henderson, Harry and Holly Stamper, Jake and Cassie Lashbrooke, Chuck and Joanne Narrad, Michael and Laura Sullivan, KPIG, Tim Lynch, Marla Bodi, Jesus, The First Baptist Church of Berkeley, John Sandage, KZSC, Tom Miller, Lou and Meredith in Truckee, White Lilly, Steve Meadows, KFOK

    H.E.R.E.S.. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Saturday, August 2, 2008,
    Willits, CA
    The Shakespeare Tent
    Cotact for more info

    Monday, August 4th, 2008
    Ashland, OR
    Bohemia Gallery
    222 A Street

    Tuesday, August 5th, 2008, 6:30
    Bandon, OR
    Bates House
    RSVP to web site

    Thursday, August 7th, 2008, 7:00 PM
    Tacoma, WA.
    3709 6th Avenue
    253-761-Rose ( 7673 )

    Friday, August 8th, 2008
    Seattle, WA
    The Mix AKA The Christoff Gallery
    6004 12th Ave S # 17
    206 767 0280

    Saturday, August 9th, 2008
    Vancouver, BC
    Rhizome Cafe
    317 East Broadway

    Sunday, August 10th, 2008, 7:30
    Norway house
    1110 Hillside Avenue

    Tuesday, August 12th, 2008, 8:00pm
    Port Townsend, WA
    Upstage Restaurant & Theatre
    923 Washington Street
    360 385 2216

    Wednesday, August 13th, 2008, 8:00
    Eugene, Oregon
    Davis' Restaurant and Bar
    94 W. Broadway

    Thursday, August 14th, 2008
    Portland House Concert
    Contact for RSVP

    Saturday, August 16th, 2008
    Hood River, OR
    Private Party

    Friday, August 22nd, 2008, 7:00 PM
    St Louis , MO
    The Collective Bakery

    Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
    Murphysboro, IL
    House Concert at Randy and Gay's
    411 n 9th St
    Murphysboro, IL

    Sunday, September 14th, 2008
    Takoma Park
    Takoma Park Folk Festival
    Takoma Park Middle School