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  • The Muse and Whirled Retort 2024

    The Muse and Whirled Retort January 2024

    The Chris Chandler Show newsletter header

    The Muse and Whirled Retort January 2024

    Happy New Year Banner

    Hey everybody.

    It’s that time again. Happy New Year!
    Holy Cow. It is 2024. I love this day. The year feels fresh. like anything could happen. Virginal. Freshly fallen snow.Let us build a new one from the ashes (and I do mean ashes) of the old.

    Let us all strive to make this a good year!
    We have a lot of work in front of us.
    I am glad I am on your team.


    A couple of things going on.

    Paul and I are going to be joining forces this month for a handful of shows in and around the Bay Area. Ya see, I have a bif ol birthday coming up and my dear friend and former partner Jen Delyth has decided to throw a party. Paul is coming down from Seattle so we figured - HEY, “I have a barn lets put on a show.”

    Check out the dates below. If you are in striking distance and see an open date and you - YES you, would like to present us say, in your living room drop me a line.


    Before we get to it, first, it is time for your crass commercial announcements.
    If you would like to support me or this news letter you can do so via Pay Pal, or Venmo. (Just Click on the name)

    If you would like to be a continuing supporter, you can do so at Patreon.

    Finally, If you would like to subscribe to my YouTube channel go to



    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    January 01, 2023
    Austin, TX
    Winter Song
    By Chris Chandler

    Most people think of winter
    as merely a frozen period.

    The poets
    draw metaphors of death,
    the withering away of life,
    moving on from the autumn years
    into your inevitable demise.

    But I say, Damn the poets!

    e.e. cummings said,
    “snow doesn't give a soft white damn
    whom it touches."

    I always liked that about winter.

    Snow makes your weed-infested junkyard
    look just as nice
    as your Presbyterian neighbor's manicured fescue.

    Winter is something you can feel in your bones.

    It makes us aware of our skeletal structure
    as it strips the trees of summer,
    allowing us to behold the bones of the earth.

    We see her landscapes
    without her gaudy gardenias
    and great green summer trees,
    her trendy autumn scarves,
    or her whorey spring negligees
    made of tulips and bumblebees.

    We see the earth naked
    as we see our lover the next morning.

    Make-up kissed away.

    The low slant of winter's
    morning light reveals the angles of her jaw line.

    Down comforters and a sluggish sunrise
    let us stay in bed a little longer
    as we look within.

    Some creatures hibernate.
    For them, winter is gone in a flash
    but it is the cold of winter
    that gives them the strength
    to make it through the rest of the coldhearted year.

    "April is the cruelest month."

    It is winter that taught the ant generosity
    and the grasshopper responsibility.
    OK, OK
    in the original,
    the ant ate the grasshopper
    over the long cold winter
    but I bet the grasshopper
    learned his lesson.

    To long for all the seasons
    and the way they change
    is a far healthier state of mind
    than to be helplessly
    infatuated with spring.

    Perhaps there is a reason
    that so many people
    could not start a conversation with a stranger
    if it were not for the weather.

    God bless the winter,
    for it is both an beginning and an end.

    It is something that brings us to praise
    the hard yellow warmth of chimneys,
    as we gather
    in tighter circles
    to hear the tales of the harsher seasons,
    until the snow melts,
    and we can venture into the severity of spring,
    armed with fresh vim
    to conquer the oncoming year.

    H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Saturday, January 6th, 2024 7:00 PM
    The Living Room Story Time for Grown Ups
    Unity Austin
    5501 West Highway 290
    Austin , TX 78735
    Six storytellers with a theme.

    Sunday, January 14th, 2024 4:30 PM
    Chandler's 60th Birthday Party
    The Home of Jen Delyth
    RSVP me
    Oakland , CA
    Although NO New Year's Day Party this Year at Jen's House - we ARE having the party instead on Jan 14th - the Sunday Before MLK Day (to celebrate Chandler's 60th). We appreciate any contributions of "finger food", and bring your favorite beverage, and a poem or song or Majik Trick to share if ya like. Going to be fun!

    Wednesday, January 17th, 2024 4:30 PM
    A House Concert
    At The Home of Miracula
    email for address
    Nevada City , CA
    Details TBA at the top of the year - stay tuned

    Thursday, January 18th, 2024 4:30 PM
    Laurie Greenfest Berger Presents
    Venue TBA
    Email for info as I know it
    Fairfax , CA 94930

    Friday, January 19th, 2024 8:00 PM
    House Concert
    at the Home of Sabrina Parker
    RSVP ME for address
    Santa Cruz , CA

    Saturday, January 20th, 2024 12:00 PM
    John Elliott Presents
    Great Highway Park at Judah
    Location TBA
    San Francisco , CA

    Park on Lower Great Highway or anywhere else in the hood.

    Great Highway is closed to cars. North Train takes you right there. Or walk Bike etc.

    Saturday, January 20th, 2024 4:30 PM
    House Concert
    at The 'Rads
    RSVP ME for the address
    Los Altos , CA

    Are you ready for something completely different?

    Please join me in welcoming the long-overdue return of Chris Chandler to the ‘Rads LivingRoom.

    This will be an intimate, small attendance indoor event.

    Saturday, January 20, 2024 4:30 doors, 5:00 show Long-term friends of House Concerts At The ‘Rads may recall that it was Chris who first got this ball rolling when he played our very first house concert for Chuck’s birthday on January 9, 2007.

    Yeah, that’s 17 whole years ago! Since then he’s appeared on the ‘Rads driveway three times and has been providing both entertainment and food for thought in venues of all sorts and sizes, all across the country.

    If you’ve ever been to the Oregon Country Fair, you know he’s an annual favorite there. Chris is a spoken word artist who first caught my attention when he joined Dan Bern on stage at High Sierra in 2004. It’s been several years since I’ve had an opportunity to see his show, so I am looking forward to a whole new era of insights, humor, commentary, and song. Musical accompaniment for this show will be provided by Paul Benoit on guitar and local keyswhiz Jordan Feinstein.

    Arrive at 4:30 to socialize, snack, claim a seat and settle in. There’s no formal pot-luck meal, but there will be a large charcuterie spread and beverages. Feel free to bring something to add to it, or perhaps a dessert or other snack, or bottle, but no obligation. There will be two sets with a brief break.

    I expect the show to wrap up by around 7:00. I am asking for a $25 donation for the artist to guarantee your spot. Venmo (Joanne Narad. I’m the only one.) is preferred, but you can reserve your spot and pay cash at the door. AS ALWAYS, SEND EMAIL TO TO RESERVE YOUR SPOT. Subject line “Jan20” will help me keep track, thanks. (Note there is no ’s’ at the end of houseconcert!)

    This is a very limited attendance show, so don’t delay. I hope to see you soon and in the meantime, Happy Holidaze and have a great New Year!

    Sunday, January 21st, 2024 7:00 PM
    The Return to Berkeley CA
    The Monkey House
    1638 University Bvd
    Berkeley , CA