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The Chris Chandler Show

  • T.H.E. M.U.S.E. A.N.D. W.H.I.R.L.E.D. R.E.T.O.R.T.

    The Muse and Whirled Retort
    June 1, 2006
    Volume VII Issue viii
    Woodstock, NY

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    2. H.O.W. .T.O. .G.E.T. .S.T.U.F.F.
    We have a new DVD available only at shows!  It is what I have always wanted to do.
    It features the new videos — many of which we are projecting as we perform.
    Something's in the Air, St Augustine, Cracker Jack Cure, and many others — very cool!

    The New CD is doing great! by Far the best record I have ever made.
    TO GET THE NEW 2 VOLUME ENHANCED CD SET "American Storyteller:"

    Please check out our three videos at
    Check out: David Roe's site
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    And now enough of the crass commercial announcements

    3. first — a rare local show in YES! Takoma Park, MD — please come out — make us feel like we have a home!  Then, Look for us in Woodstock, Lawrence, KS, Santa Cruz, San Francesco, Berkeley, Vashon Island, Seattle, Olympia, Eugene, Portland, Vancouver, Bellingham, Victoria, Courtenay, Duncan AND — HEY YOU! We need at least one gig ANYWHERE between Bellingham Washington and Washington, DC in Late July. Boise? The Dakotas? Madison? Chicago? St Louis, Peoria? CAN YOU HELP?

    We are looking forward to returning to some of our favorite Festivals (High Sierra, Oregon Country Fair, and the Islands, X Fest, and Freedom Fest) but are disappointed not to be able to make it to some of our favorites - I will miss you Kerrville, Falcon Ridge and SolarFest - maybe we can come back next year!


    4. and now...
    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    The Muse and Whirled Retort
    June 1, 2006
    Volume VII Issue viii
    Woodstock, NY

    Hey everybody,

    It's that time of the month again.

    By the time we got to Woodstock we were. Hey, there is only 2 of us in this car — but who's counting.  Clearly not the main stream media.  Clearly not Neil Young.  Ya know, Neil — it is not that there are no protest singers — it is there are no outlets for us to be heard.  Not a minor point here.  But, you know, I have been on about that for a long time.  I am just glad that Bush's numbers are now so low — even the country music fans are turning against him — Congratulations Dixie Chicks!  What's next?  I am waiting to see one of those NASCAR drivers with a big peace sign on the hood of his car.  It would really be cool if the car ran on Bio-Diesel.  Willie Nelson's Race Car.

    Magellan proved Copernicus right by circumnavigating the globe.

    Someday someone is going to prove Einstein was right. But to do it we'll have to learn a lot about .infinity.

    Ya see, Einstein maintained that the universe is round.    He said every straight line in the universe eventually intersects itself. Think about that! The implications are staggering It would logically follow that Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell will eventually admit that they have always been secretly attracted to each other. Perhaps move to Canada admit that they've always been Episcopalians.

    Perhaps this is a good place in the news letter to mention that next Tuesday will be 6-6-6.  (Really) perhaps this is why our president — who seems to be convinced the rapture will be any day now so it really doesn't matter how badly he screws things up - does not seem  concerned that our brave fighting men have become vigilante serial killers in Khaki.  It is because they are not.

    In Haditha he says,  "Oh just a few bad apples."  OK I would like to believe that.  Ya see your buddy get killed and ya wanna go kick some ass.  Hell, I am a pacifist and I can feel that pain. They should still be prosecuted.  However, I don't believe those soldiers are the problem.  It is not a few bad apples.  Ya see,  8 MONTHS AGO!  That means there WAS a cover up.  Was it a few bad apples that covered it up?

    Was it a few bad apples that paid the victims families off? (FACT)  was it a few bad apples that approved the funding of the pay off?  Was it a few more bad apples that ignored the pay off when balancing the books?  Was it a few more bad apples that ignored the books when they came into your office?  That's a whole lotta apples.  Remember Apple Pie is one of our National Symbols.

    Or, George, could it be the other way around — that, in fact there are only a few bad apples.  They are you and your cabinet.  When the rapture comes (perhaps on 06-06-06) I hope it is you and your cabinet filled with bad apples that go.  So we can have our Apple Pie back.

    You too, "Heard the rooster crow, at the brink of kingdom come But you rolled over and mashed the snooze button, and we slept through Armageddon.

    But Armageddon might be a good night for you and I to go out
    We could have an intimate evening — we're sure to avoid the crowds

    If everyone is raptured up to heaven — we could get good seats in the theatre they say — It's like when ya don't like football and It's Superbowl Sunday."
    (from "No one I could talk about this With" Collaborations Chandler Rockstroh/Catie Curtis)

    Anyway — who has time for all this Armageddon stuff — hell, who has time for anything these days?  I am too busy trying to make the minimum payments on my credit card to pay for the time saving devices I keep buying (like this computer I am typing this letter on) in order to gain a little more time.)

    Did you know that there are computers that do nothing all day but try to count to infinity?  I read about it in the paper.  But now, Computers count in base 2 — 1 0 100 101 — we count base ten — because we have ten fingers.

    The Mayans - they counted in base 20 - they wore no shoes. (Really.)

    But, I was thinking since the Count on Sesame Street only has 4 fingers - shouldn't he be counting in base eight?

    Me, I count base 11 — but only when I have my hands in my pockets.

    In the end, there are ten types of people in the world — those who know binary and those who don't.

    Usually only about eleven in ten-thousand people get that joke

    Anyway, the way I see it —  if the universe is round then infinity is just one digit shy of nothing.

    The bible had a little run in with infinity that seems to confirm this notion.

    Weren't the architects working on the tower of Babel trying to reach the infinite?  Shouldn't the subcontractors have realized the problem with this project?  

    Ya get too close to infinity and poof — you're back to zero.

    Ya get too close to heaven - and ¡poof! you find yourself speaking Spanish in a Chi Chi's in Dubuque, Iowa - trying to order "Pollo Guadalajara" and having a teenager in a polyester uniform asking - "¿ya want that with beef or chicken?"

    As for me -- I went for years thinking Taco Bell was the Mexican phone company.

    So one day one of these computers counting to infinity is going to spit out that the next number in succession is zero?

    It's only a matter of time Which will prove that infinity is just one digit less than zero?

    So I can tell the bank — "hey! I am not four-hundred-seventy-eight dollars overdrawn -  I have nearly 500 bucks more than infinity"- Ok, you might not be buying it yet, but I convinced a half dozen accountants at Arthur Andersen.

    And the bank officer who is going to approve my loan for a new Cadillac. Yes friends now I can simply back my way into the two car garage of heaven...

    Only I find that Satan has his SUV parked on the other side.  It's a Ford Explorer with Firestone tires and a bumper sticker that reads - "This Machine Kills Fascists."

    Anyway - the point I am trying to make here is that if I sit around and count my blessings - and my blessings are infinite - will I one day discover that I have none?

    Seems we are always trying to reach perfection - like infinity. Throughout human history — some new invention comes along that changes us for ever - the wheel,  the printing press, the Lay-Z Boy.

    Civilization is changed until we have only vague stories of the past.

    "Grandpa - tell me what it was like before Iraq became the 53rd state?"

    Civilizations do expand - until they bump into others - also striving for their own sense of perfection.  

    Manifest Destiny.   One  man's Destiny is another man's chapter 11.  


    Perhaps it is our flaws that keep us in balance.

    Maybe we could perceive each others' "flaws" as assets.

    Maybe we would see the kingdom of heaven that is indeed spread out before us.

    And, if we don't see it - there will be no heaven - for there will be no here.

    For eternity

    See ya out on the road — it goes on forever ya, know.
    Here's the announcements:
    As many of you know I am one of the production managers at an annual demonstration at Ft Benning Georgia to close down the school of the Americas.  (for more info on what that is

    Well, we may be getting our wish. (really)  
    I am optimistic — but really I don't know why.  Last time we got Congress to stop funding this EVIL training ground for War lords in South and Central America they Just Renamed the thing an hour later and it was right back to full funding.  (really!)
    Anyway: here is the skinny:  .
    National Call-in Days to Close the SOA/WHINSEC

    Tuesday, June 6 and Wednesday, June 7:
    Call Congress at 202-224-3121 or toll free at 888-355-3588.
    Please take the time to call the DC office of your Representative through the Capitol Hill Switchboard at 202-224-3121 or toll free at 1-888-355-3588. Ask to speak with the foreign affairs legislative assistant. Here is a suggested message for you to convey:
    "I am calling Congressman/woman ________ to urge him/her to vote YES on the McGovern amendment to the Foreign Operations Appropriations bill. This amendment is a cut in funding for the School of the Americas/ WHINSEC. New information indicates that WHINSEC has allowed known human rights abusers to instruct and receive training at the school. Argentina and Uruguay are two more countries that have made public announcements they will no longer send students to the school, citing the negative image and history of this institution. Voting YES on this amendment sends a positive human rights message to Latin America and will help to improve the U.S. image abroad. As an elected official in Washington D.C., I hope you will represent me and vote YES on any amendment in the House that would cut funding for the school."

    We are booking the fall.
    Got any ideas? Have a group that would like to bring this KICK ASS show to your event?

    Check out this new video.
    (requires Windows Media Player)

    I rediscovered this poem by WH Auden shortly after 9-11 - as it was circulated widely on the internet. D. R. and I recoded it for The American Storyteller Album:

    I am excited about this one - because I actually shot about 80% of it.

    If you can't play Windows media player files, check back later in the month for other versions.


    We are looking for a date in Oh say, St Louis or Kansas City or somewhere midwestish on June 22 and or June 23 as well as July 26 or 27.

    That is a pretty big area - Madison??? You out there?


    I am have finished the new David Rovics DVD including 5 music videos I made for him in the past few months.   it will be released in September — Sorry we are keeping it under wraps till then.



    Friday, June 2nd, 2006, 930PM
    High Falls, NY

    Friday, June 2nd, 2006, 7pm
    Akron, OH
    VIDEO SCREENING ONLY: 9th Ward New Orleans & Little Pink Houses
    Benefit for New Orleans Displaced Musicians
    The Lime Spider
    207 South Main Street

    Saturday, June 3rd, 2006, 8pm
    Rosendale, NY
    Rosendale Cafe
    434 Main St
    (845) 658-9048

    Saturday, June 3rd, 2006
    High Falls, NY

    Sunday, June 4th, 2006
    High Falls, NY
    The People's Music Network Summer Gathering

    Wednesday, June 7th, 2006, 8 PM
    Takoma Park, MD
    7014 Westmoreland Avenue

    Friday, June 9th, 2006, 7:30pm
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Friendship House Concerts

    Saturday, June 10th, 2006, 7pm
    Cleveland, OH
    Barking Spider Tavern
    11310 Juniper Rd.

    Sunday, June 11th, 2006, 4 PM
    Detroit, MI
    Detroit Festival of the Arts - Litfest Tent

    Saturday, June 17th, 2006, 5:15pm
    Telford, PA
    X-Fest (country creek winery)
    133 Cressman Road
    973 809 1930

    Thursday, June 22nd, 2006, 8pm
    Lawrence, KS
    Gaslight Tavern
    317 N 2nd Street

    Sunday, June 25th, 2006, tbd
    Watsonville, CA
    Radio interview at KPIG!

    Monday, June 26th, 2006, 8pm
    Downtown Felton, CA
    Don Quixote's International Music Hall
    6275 Highway 9

    Tuesday, June 27th, 2006, 7pm
    Berkeley, CA
    House Concert - Hali Hammer
    1609 Woolsey Street

    Wednesday, June 28th, 2006, 8pm
    San Francisco, CA
    House Concert
    339 Pierce St., SF 94117

    Thursday, June 29th, 2006, tbd
    Quincy, CA
    High Sierra Music Festival
    Plumus Fairgrounds

    Friday, June 30th, 2006, 10 AM
    Quincy, CA
    High Sierra Music Festival
    Plumus Fairgrounds

    Saturday, July 1st, 2006, 6:45
    Quincy, CA
    High Sierra Music Festival
    Plumus Fairgrounds

    Sunday, July 2nd, 2006, 11 PM
    Quincy, CA
    High Sierra Music Festival
    Plumus Fairgrounds

    Tuesday, July 4th, 2006, tbd
    Vashon Island, WA
    206 408-8058

    Wednesday, July 5th, 2006, 8pm
    Nevada City, CA
    235 Commercial St.

    Thursday, July 6th, 2006
    Eugene, OR
    Oregon Country Fair

    Friday, July 7th, 2006, 4 PM
    Eugene, OR
    Oregon Country Fair

    Saturday, July 8th, 2006, 1:00 PM
    Eugene, OR
    Oregon Country Fair

    Sunday, July 9th, 2006, 3:30 PM
    Eugene, OR
    Oregon Country Fair

    Sunday, July 9th, 2006, Dusk:30
    Eugene, OR
    Oregon Country Fair

    Tuesday, July 11th, 2006, 7pm & 9pm
    Olympia, WA
    KAOS 89.3 FM & Fertile Ground Guesthouse
    The Evergreen State College & 311 9th Ave SE

    Wednesday, July 12th, 2006, 9pm
    Seattle, WA
    Café Venus & Mars Bar
    609 Eastlake East
    206 624 4516

    Thursday, July 13th, 2006, 9pm
    sam bonds garage
    407 blair

    Friday, July 14th, 2006, 9pm - 12:30am
    Portland, OR
    Mississippi Pizza
    3552 N Mississippi Ave
    (503) 288-3231

    Friday, July 14th, 2006, tba
    Portland, OR
    Mississippi Studio

    Saturday, July 15th, 2006, tbd
    Port Townsend, WA
    832 Water Street
    Phone: 360-379-1100

    Sunday, July 16th, 2006
    Norway house
    1110 Hillside Avenue

    Tuesday, July 18th, 2006
    Vancouver, BC
    Spartacus Books
    319 W. Hastings St.

    Wednesday, July 19th, 2006, 8pm
    Duncan, BC
    The Duncan Garage Showroom
    201-330 Duncan St

    Thursday, July 20th, 2006, 8:00pm
    Courtenay, BC
    Comox Valley Art Gallery
    580 Duncan Ave
    Meg Cursons 336-8187

    Friday, July 21st, 2006, tbd
    Duncan, BC
    Islands Folk Fest
    250 748-3975

    Saturday, July 22nd, 2006, tbd
    Duncan, BC
    Islands Folk Fest
    250 748-3975

    Sunday, July 23rd, 2006, tbd
    Duncan, BC
    Islands Folk Fest
    250 748-3975

    Monday, July 24th, 2006, tba
    Bellingham, WA
    Stuart's At the Market
    1530 Cornwall Street

    Thursday, July 27th, 2006
    Seattle, WA
    House Concert at the Home of Paul Trebach

    Saturday, July 29th, 2006, 5pm-6:30pm
    Washington, DC
    The Warehouse Theater, Main Stage
    1021-21 7th Street NW

    Sunday, July 30th, 2006, 8PM-9:30pm
    Washington, DC
    The Warehouse Theater - Main Stage

    Saturday, August 5th, 2006, tbd
    New Deal
    113 Centerway

    Sunday, August 6th, 2006, 6-8pm
    Baltimore, MD
    Waterfront Hotel
    1710 Thames St
    (410) 537-5055

    Wednesday, August 9th, 2006, 7:30pm-8:30pm
    Bethlehem, PA
    Liederplatz stage

    Saturday, August 12th, 2006
    Newtown, PA
    Ray and Kati's House
    RSVP for address
    215 860 7741----------------------------------------------------------------------chris chandler []----------------------------------------------------------------------You are subscribed as Your user name is unsubscribe from these mailings, visit or reply with "unsubscribe" in the subject.Powered by SLAB500 []