The Muse and Whirled Retort 2023
The April 2023 Muse and Whirled Retort
Saturday, April 1, 2023
It's that time Again! Paul and I are doing a short little run very excited about that - so if you are in Austin, Houston, New Orleans, Tallahassee, Athens, or Ashville Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride. I am going to spare ya the crass comercial announcments till the end.
I know many of you are looking for an April fools joke. - but there isn't one. I can't do it every year, I would never fool you. But I am still a little high over the last time I did it... Boy o Boy Y'all can be guilable. Perhaps dat's why I love you so.
Here is a little poem about being on the road - I hope you enjoy it. It is from the "So, Where Ya Headed album. Enjoy!
T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
April 1, 2023
I have seen the best minds of my generation...
writing ad copy.
Tonight as I drown my sorrows in a beer ad,
I think of Elliot,
of Yates and Molière.
What would they have made of it all?
I wonder if they would be today's poets?
The ones writing
"This Bud's for you,”
“I love you, man,”
“and It don't get no better than this?"
You know, the classics?
Or would they be writing the TV shows them selves?
Would they write "What biggest looser slouches down project runway waiting to be lost."
Would they be sitting at the right hand of God.
That’s the one where he holds the remote control.
Cos, since the moment that God said, "Let there be light."
And he hit the universal remote
and a little white dot
appeared on the giant surround sound television screen in the sky
and Adam and Eve sat down,
in their little fig leaf bathrobes
on their little Fred Flintstone couches
watching God's first mini-series
– Known as The constellations –
and the stories began to unfold
– and just like today, they would fall asleep to stories on TV.
And the stories would dance in their dreams.
They would be passed on from generation to generation.
Until today, we get
"Dancing with the Stars."
In fact, the constellations were the longest running show in human history.
Longer than The Guiding Light, longer than The Simpsons
But then it got cancelled.
Replaced by a new show called Smog.
So now people go to sleep watching shows like
where the premiss is for the people
that no longer exist.
But our definition of star
has become as distorted
as our view of the night time sky
in downtown Los Angeles.
Why do you think every body in LA wants to be a star?
Because there are no stars.
But people still fall asleep watching that crap
– and they dream a retched dream -
involving a creepy butterfly that flies into your room
so you can play chess with Abraham Lincoln, a talking Gopher and a mute guy
in an antique diving bell
Then, you wind up in a threesome
with Bob Barker and Drew Cary and a mysterious stranger shouting "Come on Down!"
And your a smart person, an observant one,
that Johnson Floor Wax retails for the same amount of money as Jiffy Pop Popcorn
and noticing the innocuous anomaly
you are asked to spin a giant Catherine Wheel,
which looks like it may have belonged to Liberace himself
Until you find your self shouting,
“The price is NOT right!”
Even though the price is NOT right
– we worship our entertainers –
as long as they're famous.
It is not like the days of the bard.
Where the wondering minstrel strolled from township to town,
encampment to camp fire
singing the stories of the village just over there.
Long before they were written down.
Stories like… , The Torah and The Quran.
Didn’t all three of those warn us about worshiping
a false American Idol?
… and the famous?
They’ll do anything to stay famous.
They will go on talk shows to talk about how hard it is to be famous.
How hard it is to be on the road...
and they will stab each other in the back
to take jobs as insipid game show hosts.
Or judges on contests
that make no Talents...
So I say,
"Fame is for sissies!"
Hell, It would be easy to be on the road for thirty-five years if you were famous.
Doing one night stands.
Staying in hotel rooms. Maybe a week in Vegas.
Hot showers, Meals.
Try doing it for thirty-five years when
your passing the hat
in a coffee house in North Dakota.
It’s true with anything you love.
And it’s not about fame.
You may be the best widget maker in the world
- and no one notices -
so the guy in the assembly line next to you gets the promotion.
You still have to find a way
to keep being the best widget maker in the world.
The only way to do that is
to keep being the best widget maker in the world
And tell stories about BEING a widget maker
to your kids.
Paul and I are going to be doing shows in early / mid April in Austin, Houston, 3 Shows in New Orleans, Tallahassee, Athens, Asheville. I hope you can make it. Most of these will be a house concert it should be intimate fun don’t miss it it has been a minute since we played in this neck of the woods. We will be touring in support of our terrific new album “Don’t Go Back to Sleep.”
I want a copy of the new chandler and Benoit CD
or Pasting https://chrischandler.org/product/don-t-go-back-to-sleep/
You may have noticed I am not playing lots of live shows these days. There are lots of reasons for that. I would like to keep this little show touring along and I could use your help!
I Want to Help The Chris Chandler Show via Pay Pal
Your Poem of The Week
I am continuing on with the Poem of The Week as we dip our toes into the post pandemic era. But I have enjoyed doing them and I think you enjoy them as well. I broadcast almost every Tuesday at 7 central live Streamed on Face Book and then Posted on to my You tube Cannel.
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H.E.R.E.'.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.
Saturday, April 8th, 2023 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM Houston
Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST
The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook
At The Home of Michael Wegner
179 Virginia Ave