The Muse and Whirled Retort 2012
T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.LE.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T. August 2012
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
photo: Amy Berlin
The Flying Poetry Circus and Traveling Multimedia Medicine Show
With Kazum! and The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show and very special guests!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:00 pm
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, OR
T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
Wed August, 1 2012

Centralia, WA
Vol. XIII issue ix
To subscribe to this news letter by clicking: 
I WANT THE NEWSLETTER NOW 

or pasting https://chrischandler.org/index.php?page=signup
To unsubscribe, reply with the word unsubscribe in the subject line.


Hey Everybody,
It is that time of the month again.
July is always a busy one for me – lots of festivals and shows and holy cow life is a fun ride!
But because it has been so busy – I haven’t really had a chance to flush out some of these thoughts. So I just decided to list them.
Ya know how on facebook – your little tag line always starts with your name?
So I put them all in that format. Here we go…
Chris Chandler…
... is violating the terms of his Facebook contract.
…has made it official - this is the official site of the 20112 Olympic Games in London.
… looks at his watch (which is his cell phone) and shouts "Danged rollover minutes… now time is not on my side it's on my back."
... pictures an old movie style poster with a picture of three swordsmen as "The Free Marketeers and a caption reading "All for one and none for all."
... looks out his window and sees closed factories and a homeless guy by the interstate, with a sign that reads: "American Idle."
... envisions a new television reality show called "F*%king With The Porn-Stars" in which porn industry producers and directors will hold up score cards judging the prowess of forgotten minor celebrities as we watch them give real porn stars their best shot.
…insists it be called "Obsessive Compulsive Order!"
... believes billboards form in first light shadows, inviting us all to focus on something other than the beauty that is already there.
…thinks hard work is like bathing. Ya gotta do it everyday - or very soon it's like you never did it all.
…is pretty sure everyone else on the planet is a tourist visiting his home
…is trying to figure out the difference between flexibility and indecisiveness.
… is pretty successful at meeting expenses… in a singles bar.
…thinks just because you are right doesn’t mean I have to agree with you.
…is trying to imagine a hypothetical situation.
,,, corrected Jen after she said that we would be home after dark. By saying, "No, we'll be home after light."
...is singing Ruby Tuesday is Gone With The Wind Cries Mary Had a little Baby Please Don't Go Speed Racer X - es Live in Texas T for Tennessee Stud
…is singing, "Well, they say it's your Earth Day Well, It's my Earth Day too, yea."
... is working as a stagehand striking the stage for Earth Day in the rain. Should I complain?
... sees oncoming head lights parade by like sad clowns or full moons looking down on an awkward girl with a nervous laugh and a British accent in a distant city.
... is wondering if his car is cluttered or this is his own quirky aestheticism
…was afraid of facing his fears so he turned his back on them and saw all of the hope and inspiration that trailed behind.
... is reading Aleksandr Pushkin while listening to Southern Culture on the Skids.
….sometimes gets lost in thought - but he also gets lost in the supermarket.
...shouts, "ENOUGH really is ENOUGH!"
... figures, if life were easy everybody would be having one.
…is very thankful for the life he has.
********************
Thanks to every one that helps on this wonderful rollercoaster. “WEEEEEeeeeeee!” Can I get you some cotton candy?
************************
A.N.N.O.U.N.C.E.M.E.N.T.S.
HEY PORTLAND, OR!
I REALLY need your help getting the word out for this very special show at the Alberta Rose Theatre!
The Flying Poetry Circus and Traveling Multimedia Medicine Show
With Kazum! and The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show and very special guests!
Chris & Paul play with the amazing daring high flying acro-balancing act Kazum and some very very special guests in a Variety Show Exravaganza!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:00 pm
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, or 97211
Please Help.
*****************************
HEY BAY AREA!
We have 2 shows – one opening for the always awesome Shelley Dotty at Cafe Trieste
And sharing the bill with the mind blowingly amazing Lori B and Ira Marlowe at The Monkey House Sunday August 19
**************************
Jen and I debuted our new “Illuminations” at the Oregon Country Faire and in about 15 seconds had a hippie sitting cross legged on the ground staring at them. Holy Cow!
We sold out in a half an hour.
I will be building more very soon!
Get your orders in quick!
http://celticartstudio.com/shop/celtic-art-led-illuminations-by-welsh-artist-jen-delyth
**************************
The newly reprinted “The United States of Generica” T-Shirts are here!
After multiple requests I made a fresh batch in Tanks, Long Sleeved Thermals and regular short sleeved.
Made and Printed in the USA!
http://celticartstudio.com/shop/chandler_tshirts_long_sleeves_tanks/
****************************
Do you have Matadors?
Are you a reviewer or a DJ and need a copy of Paul and My’s latest CD?
If you need a promo copy send me an email to bladchandler@yahoo.com
If ya wanna buy one?
http://celticartstudio.com/shop/chandler_cds/
For the earlier titles go to: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/chrischandler12
***********************
Join me on face book: by clicking 
for daily one liners
 or pasting: www.facebook/chrischandler.org

******
To subscribe to this news letter by clicking: 
I WANT THE NEWSLETTER NOW 

or pasting https://chrischandler.org/index.php?page=signup


***************************


To unsubscribe, reply with the word unsubscribe in the subject line.


T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.
(Chronologically)
Jen Delyth, Paul Benoit, Anne Feeney, Jim Evangelista, Brian QTN, Frankie Hernandez, Jesse Dalton, Whitney, Rachel, Jarrod Kaplan, Sean and Lisa, Michelle Sellers, Stoner Bob and Co, Brian Keogh, Linda Divendorf, JC, Athonwy and Joel, Ulrika Haveron, Kazum, Amy Berlin, Adam “Pickles” Moss, Mark Ross, Harry “Red Wine” Levine, My Father’s Ghost, Duke Davis, Marsea and Tom, Peter Wilde, Sam Bonds, Derik and Craig, all the folks at the Rhizome, Charley and Jen (so sorry I did not get a contact from you – what was I thinking?), Carolyn Wong, Chris, Liana and Francis Kennedy, Ted and Suzanne, Egan’s, Hugh Sutton, Dan Webber, Daimien Aiken, Sean Divine, all the good folks at Enemclaw’s Seattle Highland Games Association, All the good Folks at Fairieworld, and in advance to Charles Smith very sorry if I spaced someone from this month - finally…. Insert your name here.
**************************
H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.
Upcoming Events:
Tuesday, July 31st, 2012
Labor in Song and Story
WAPWU Steward College
Eastern, WA
Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 9 PM
An evening with Chandler and Benoit
Acoustic Green Frog Tavern
1015 North State Street
Bellingham, WA
USA
phone: 360.756.1213
website: http://www.acoustictavern.com/
Saturday, August 4th, 2012
Lee Brooks Birthday Bash! with The Brown Edition, Arielists and Sideshows
Private Party If ya wanna come - email me at baldchandler@yahoo.com
Olympia, WA
Sunday, August 5th, 2012 8:00
Sirens presents
Sirens
823 Water
Port Townsend
phone: 360.379.1100
Friday, August 10th, 2012
shambhala music festival
Salmo, BC
website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com
Saturday, August 11th, 2012 2:30
Rock Pitt Stage
shambhala music festival
Salmo, BC
website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com
Sunday, August 12th, 2012
Spokane WA
TBA
Monday, August 13th, 2012 6:30 PM
Siuslaw Valley Library - Bromley Room
1460 9th St (At Maple)
Florenace, OR
phone: 541 997 3132
Tuesday, August 14th, 2012 8:30 pm
Chris & Paul play Kazum in a Variety Show Exravaganza!
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, or 97211
PRICE: $15.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
website: http://www.albertarosetheatre.com
This will be an incredible show!
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012 8 PM
with Paul Benoit
Axe and Fiddle
657 East Main Street
Cottage Grove, OR 97424
phone: 541-942-5942
website: http://www.axeandfiddle.com/
Thursday, August 16th, 2012 8 PM
Chris and Paul with Frankie Hernandez
The playwright public house
258 A street
Ashland, OR
phone: 1 (541) 488-9128
PRICE: $5.00
website: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-playwright-public-house/184151694970391
Friday, August 17th, 2012 8 PM
WITH SHELLEY DOTTY
Caffe Trieste
2500 San Pablo (@ Dwight Way)
Berkeley, CA
WE ARE ON FIRST
Caffe Trieste Berkeley
2500 San Pablo (@ Dwight Way)
8pm-10pm
(NO COVER! Tips please!)
Saturday, August 18th, 2012 7 pm
at Joe's House
House Concert
RSVP Through my friend Tom h2odog19@yahoo.com. phone is (831)475-1305
Santa Cruz, CA
This will be an incredible evening! Joe (our Host for the evening) is a world class brewer and his band "Pour House"" will open the show
Sunday, August 19th, 2012 8:00 PM
Chris and Paul with Lori B and Ira Marlowe
The Monkey House
1638 University ave
Berkeley, CA
website: http://www.monkeyhousetheater.com
Tuesday, August 28th, 2012
Songwriters At Play
Kreuzberg
Chris Chandler solo
685 Higuera St
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
Wednesday, August 29th, 2012 8:00 PM
Berkeley
Starry Plough
CHRIS SOLO
3101 Shattuck Ave (between Prince St & Woolsey St)
Berkeley, CA 94705
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
website: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Berkeley-Poetry-Slam/56551409302
This is a Poetry Slam Feature. I will be doing about a half an hour as a feature on a terrific evenings entertainment. Seating is usually tight. Doors at 8 PM I will likley be on at about 9 PM
With Kazum! and The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show and very special guests!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:00 pm
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, OR
T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
Wed August, 1 2012

Centralia, WA
Vol. XIII issue ix
To subscribe to this news letter by clicking: 
I WANT THE NEWSLETTER NOW 

or pasting https://chrischandler.org/index.php?page=signup
To unsubscribe, reply with the word unsubscribe in the subject line.


Hey Everybody,
It is that time of the month again.
July is always a busy one for me – lots of festivals and shows and holy cow life is a fun ride!
But because it has been so busy – I haven’t really had a chance to flush out some of these thoughts. So I just decided to list them.
Ya know how on facebook – your little tag line always starts with your name?
So I put them all in that format. Here we go…
Chris Chandler…
... is violating the terms of his Facebook contract.
…has made it official - this is the official site of the 20112 Olympic Games in London.
… looks at his watch (which is his cell phone) and shouts "Danged rollover minutes… now time is not on my side it's on my back."
... pictures an old movie style poster with a picture of three swordsmen as "The Free Marketeers and a caption reading "All for one and none for all."
... looks out his window and sees closed factories and a homeless guy by the interstate, with a sign that reads: "American Idle."
... envisions a new television reality show called "F*%king With The Porn-Stars" in which porn industry producers and directors will hold up score cards judging the prowess of forgotten minor celebrities as we watch them give real porn stars their best shot.
…insists it be called "Obsessive Compulsive Order!"
... believes billboards form in first light shadows, inviting us all to focus on something other than the beauty that is already there.
…thinks hard work is like bathing. Ya gotta do it everyday - or very soon it's like you never did it all.
…is pretty sure everyone else on the planet is a tourist visiting his home
…is trying to figure out the difference between flexibility and indecisiveness.
… is pretty successful at meeting expenses… in a singles bar.
…thinks just because you are right doesn’t mean I have to agree with you.
…is trying to imagine a hypothetical situation.
,,, corrected Jen after she said that we would be home after dark. By saying, "No, we'll be home after light."
...is singing Ruby Tuesday is Gone With The Wind Cries Mary Had a little Baby Please Don't Go Speed Racer X - es Live in Texas T for Tennessee Stud
…is singing, "Well, they say it's your Earth Day Well, It's my Earth Day too, yea."
... is working as a stagehand striking the stage for Earth Day in the rain. Should I complain?
... sees oncoming head lights parade by like sad clowns or full moons looking down on an awkward girl with a nervous laugh and a British accent in a distant city.
... is wondering if his car is cluttered or this is his own quirky aestheticism
…was afraid of facing his fears so he turned his back on them and saw all of the hope and inspiration that trailed behind.
... is reading Aleksandr Pushkin while listening to Southern Culture on the Skids.
….sometimes gets lost in thought - but he also gets lost in the supermarket.
...shouts, "ENOUGH really is ENOUGH!"
... figures, if life were easy everybody would be having one.
…is very thankful for the life he has.
********************
Thanks to every one that helps on this wonderful rollercoaster. “WEEEEEeeeeeee!” Can I get you some cotton candy?
************************
A.N.N.O.U.N.C.E.M.E.N.T.S.
HEY PORTLAND, OR!
I REALLY need your help getting the word out for this very special show at the Alberta Rose Theatre!
The Flying Poetry Circus and Traveling Multimedia Medicine Show
With Kazum! and The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show and very special guests!
Chris & Paul play with the amazing daring high flying acro-balancing act Kazum and some very very special guests in a Variety Show Exravaganza!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012 8:00 pm
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, or 97211
Please Help.
*****************************
HEY BAY AREA!
We have 2 shows – one opening for the always awesome Shelley Dotty at Cafe Trieste
And sharing the bill with the mind blowingly amazing Lori B and Ira Marlowe at The Monkey House Sunday August 19
**************************
Jen and I debuted our new “Illuminations” at the Oregon Country Faire and in about 15 seconds had a hippie sitting cross legged on the ground staring at them. Holy Cow!
We sold out in a half an hour.
I will be building more very soon!
Get your orders in quick!
http://celticartstudio.com/shop/celtic-art-led-illuminations-by-welsh-artist-jen-delyth
**************************
The newly reprinted “The United States of Generica” T-Shirts are here!
After multiple requests I made a fresh batch in Tanks, Long Sleeved Thermals and regular short sleeved.
Made and Printed in the USA!
http://celticartstudio.com/shop/chandler_tshirts_long_sleeves_tanks/
****************************
Do you have Matadors?
Are you a reviewer or a DJ and need a copy of Paul and My’s latest CD?
If you need a promo copy send me an email to bladchandler@yahoo.com
If ya wanna buy one?
http://celticartstudio.com/shop/chandler_cds/
For the earlier titles go to: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/chrischandler12
***********************
Join me on face book: by clicking 
for daily one liners
 or pasting: www.facebook/chrischandler.org

******
To subscribe to this news letter by clicking: 
I WANT THE NEWSLETTER NOW 

or pasting https://chrischandler.org/index.php?page=signup


***************************


To unsubscribe, reply with the word unsubscribe in the subject line.


T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.
(Chronologically)
Jen Delyth, Paul Benoit, Anne Feeney, Jim Evangelista, Brian QTN, Frankie Hernandez, Jesse Dalton, Whitney, Rachel, Jarrod Kaplan, Sean and Lisa, Michelle Sellers, Stoner Bob and Co, Brian Keogh, Linda Divendorf, JC, Athonwy and Joel, Ulrika Haveron, Kazum, Amy Berlin, Adam “Pickles” Moss, Mark Ross, Harry “Red Wine” Levine, My Father’s Ghost, Duke Davis, Marsea and Tom, Peter Wilde, Sam Bonds, Derik and Craig, all the folks at the Rhizome, Charley and Jen (so sorry I did not get a contact from you – what was I thinking?), Carolyn Wong, Chris, Liana and Francis Kennedy, Ted and Suzanne, Egan’s, Hugh Sutton, Dan Webber, Daimien Aiken, Sean Divine, all the good folks at Enemclaw’s Seattle Highland Games Association, All the good Folks at Fairieworld, and in advance to Charles Smith very sorry if I spaced someone from this month - finally…. Insert your name here.
**************************
H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.
Upcoming Events:
Tuesday, July 31st, 2012
Labor in Song and Story
WAPWU Steward College
Eastern, WA
Thursday, August 2nd, 2012 9 PM
An evening with Chandler and Benoit
Acoustic Green Frog Tavern
1015 North State Street
Bellingham, WA
USA
phone: 360.756.1213
website: http://www.acoustictavern.com/
Saturday, August 4th, 2012
Lee Brooks Birthday Bash! with The Brown Edition, Arielists and Sideshows
Private Party If ya wanna come - email me at baldchandler@yahoo.com
Olympia, WA
Sunday, August 5th, 2012 8:00
Sirens presents
Sirens
823 Water
Port Townsend
phone: 360.379.1100
Friday, August 10th, 2012
shambhala music festival
Salmo, BC
website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com
Saturday, August 11th, 2012 2:30
Rock Pitt Stage
shambhala music festival
Salmo, BC
website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com
Sunday, August 12th, 2012
Spokane WA
TBA
Monday, August 13th, 2012 6:30 PM
Siuslaw Valley Library - Bromley Room
1460 9th St (At Maple)
Florenace, OR
phone: 541 997 3132
Tuesday, August 14th, 2012 8:30 pm
Chris & Paul play Kazum in a Variety Show Exravaganza!
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta Street
Portland, or 97211
PRICE: $15.00
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
website: http://www.albertarosetheatre.com
This will be an incredible show!
Wednesday, August 15th, 2012 8 PM
with Paul Benoit
Axe and Fiddle
657 East Main Street
Cottage Grove, OR 97424
phone: 541-942-5942
website: http://www.axeandfiddle.com/
Thursday, August 16th, 2012 8 PM
Chris and Paul with Frankie Hernandez
The playwright public house
258 A street
Ashland, OR
phone: 1 (541) 488-9128
PRICE: $5.00
website: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-playwright-public-house/184151694970391
Friday, August 17th, 2012 8 PM
WITH SHELLEY DOTTY
Caffe Trieste
2500 San Pablo (@ Dwight Way)
Berkeley, CA
WE ARE ON FIRST
Caffe Trieste Berkeley
2500 San Pablo (@ Dwight Way)
8pm-10pm
(NO COVER! Tips please!)
Saturday, August 18th, 2012 7 pm
at Joe's House
House Concert
RSVP Through my friend Tom h2odog19@yahoo.com. phone is (831)475-1305
Santa Cruz, CA
This will be an incredible evening! Joe (our Host for the evening) is a world class brewer and his band "Pour House"" will open the show
Sunday, August 19th, 2012 8:00 PM
Chris and Paul with Lori B and Ira Marlowe
The Monkey House
1638 University ave
Berkeley, CA
website: http://www.monkeyhousetheater.com
Tuesday, August 28th, 2012
Songwriters At Play
Kreuzberg
Chris Chandler solo
685 Higuera St
San Luis Obispo, CA 93401
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
Wednesday, August 29th, 2012 8:00 PM
Berkeley
Starry Plough
CHRIS SOLO
3101 Shattuck Ave (between Prince St & Woolsey St)
Berkeley, CA 94705
PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
website: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Berkeley-Poetry-Slam/56551409302
This is a Poetry Slam Feature. I will be doing about a half an hour as a feature on a terrific evenings entertainment. Seating is usually tight. Doors at 8 PM I will likley be on at about 9 PM