The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort 2018

    The Muse AND WHIRLED RETORT July 2018

    The Muse AND WHIRLED RETORT July 2018
    Hey everybody,
    what can I say - this newsletter has become much more infrequent than either of us would like.

    I am thrilled this year is my 30th year of being on the road!  I am (as they say in California and mean one thing... and in Georgia mean another) “Blessed” to have performed and recorded over the years with some of the greatest  folks to ever play in the minor leagues (major = minor in my book)
    in chronological order:  Amanda Stark, David Rovics, Samantha Parton, Oliver Steck, Niki Leeman, Laura Freeman, Frankie Hernandez, Chad Austinson,  Magda Hiller, Anne Feeney, David Roe, Paul Benoit, John Elliot... AND THIS Year Sean Shanihan!

    Sean and I have worked up a set celebrating the 30 year retrospective coupled with well... as I say - “You will go through life listening to the music you listened to in the 9th grade”  the musical cannon of... the Sex Pistols, iggi pop, X, the Cranberries, Southern Culture on the Skids,  and you can find us performing in the NW this summer.  

    insert trumpet blast here.... to celebrate 30 years on the road...
    am putting out a series of 3 books that distell observations from the road into one liners. and you too could have a collection of “Chandlerisims” in your home by clicking here.

    *****FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH**********
    BUY CHANDELR’S SPIN HERE:
    https://celticartstudio.com/shop/chris_chandler/
    *****FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH**********



    Here is a sample of what you will be hearing... and if ya live in Washington State and have Wednesday July 25th as a date you would like to have us come into your living room - drop me a note.

    Here is a sample...


    The Hive Brain / Passenger
    By Chris Chandler / Iggi Pop


    I am a passenger
    And I ride and I ride



    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    I ride through the city's backside
    I see the stars come out of the sky


    Each new measurement of the known universe tells a confusing story.

    Yeah, they're bright in a hollow sky

    And every confusing story creates more to be measured.

    Facts are no longer remembered, but stored in an off brain facility.
    Our frontal lobes, once our mighty claws and talons,
    have been removed and stored
    in a fragile a hand held device,  one that requires a monthly payment plan
    - with out which -
    We are no longer connected to
    the hive brain.

    Without this corporate account,
    we are banished from the new society.

    The hive brain is massive, all encompassing, growing.
    Yet, our own brain is shrinking.

    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    I am a passenger
    I stay under glass
    I look through my window so bright
    I see the stars come out tonight
    I see the bright and hollow sky
    Over the city's ripped-back sky
    And everything looks good tonight

    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    Math skills, gone in the ‘70s with hand held calculators. Multiplication tables,  gone the way of the dodo bird,
    and Block-Buster Video,  White Out
    and the Roladex.

    Mark Twain once said, “Never trust a man that can’t figure out more than one way to auto-correct a word.”

    It’s true, I read it on the internet.

    I was once arrested and striped of my cell phone,
    but could not make my one phone call
    because I did not know anyone’s phone number.

    Global Positioning Satellites suck our sense of direction though the vacuum known as dependance.  

    I can navigate anywhere and nowhere simultaneously.

    As a species we hear more music than anyone else in human history.
    Yet,
    together we can barely sing, “Happy Birthday.”

    Singin' la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la



    Though I stand on the shoulders of giants,
    I am still an ant.

    Get into the car
    We'll be the passenger



    I communicate with more people on a daily basis through social media than the entire cities my ancestors created.

    We'll ride through the city tonight
    See the city's ripped backsides



    Yet, I communicate with fewer upon every tweet.  

    We'll ride through the city tonight
    See the city's ripped backsides



    I ban who I want to from my universe, and admit only those I desire.
    Creating a cult of clones.
    Building Berlin Walls, Great Walls of China,
    Mexican Border walls
    of the soul.

    I can read more newspapers than anyone before me,
    but with every article I read,
    the next is more narrowly tailored to me,
    and the next ... based on what I last read.  
    The ads I see - tailored to me.  

    I am drowning in a sea of me.

    My body of knowledge is growing...
    thinner...
    Just as as a soap bubble expands...
    it gets larger...
    However, as it expands
    its walls grow thinner.

    The universe is simultaneously expanding and contracting.

    He sees the things he knows are his
    He sees the bright and hollow sky

    Endless cycles of inward looking.  
    Narcissus mastrubating in a hall of mirrors
    in the vain attempt to inbreed with himself.

    Inscestuous Ignominy

    He sees the city asleep at night
    He sees the stars are out tonight
    And all of it is yours and mine
    And all of it is yours and mine -[endComment2
    ]



    But today,
    every news article I read is researched with the vigor of a 4th grade social studies student plagiarizing his text book
    to turn in his assignment by midterm deadline and be patted on the head by the denizens of dumbyland.


    Singin' la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
    La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la



    So we release... release... release...
    A smorgasbord of half baked,
    half researched,
    half thought through,
    fully self referenced,
    hypotheses.

    All in an urgent need to
    get more likes,
    more followers...
    more retweets...
    more “friends.”

    So that, for a second...
    One second...
    We can feel that someone...
    somewhere out there,

    Loves us.


    Now... here’s da dates

    Friday, July 13th, 2018  4:20 (dude!)
    The Oregon Country Faire
    Shady Grove Stage
    Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
    phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
    PRICE: $29.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
    website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



    Saturday, July 14th, 2018  9 PM
    The Oregon Country Faire
    Otter Camp (camping passes only)
    Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
    phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
    PRICE: $29.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
    website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



    Saturday, July 14th, 2018  before you know it
    The Oregon Country Faire
    Various spontanious Sightings
    Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
    phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
    PRICE: $29.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
    website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



    Sunday, July 15th, 2018  1:40 PM
    The Oregon Country Faire
    The Blue Moon Stage
    Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
    phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
    PRICE: $29.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
    website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



    Sunday, July 15th, 2018  Dark
    The Oregon Country Faire
    The Library (Caping Passes Only)
    Eugene (Venita Actually), OR
    phone: 1 (800) 992-8499
    PRICE: $29.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets to the Faire HERE:
    website: www.oregoncountryfair.org



    Wednesday, July 18th, 2018  7 PM
    at the home of (and featuring) Cassandra Robertson and Jahmez
    A house Concert
    Contact the Face Book Event Page Below for Address or Email Me baldchandler@yahoo.com
    Corvalis, OR
    PRICE: $15.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Purchase Tickets here:
    website: https://www.facebook.com/events/1765086223582882/



    Thursday, July 19th, 2018  9 PM (doors at 8)
    Performers in the Round with STEVE WILKINSON + JEREMY WILSON + MICHAEL DEAN DAMRON
    Dante's Live
    350 West Burnside
    Portland, OR 97209
    phone: 503-269-6519
    PRICE: $7.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Get Tickets Here:
    website: www.DantesLive.com
    ~Michael Dean Damron
    Talent Buyer/Production Manager
    503-269-6519

    Dante's
    350 West Burnside
    Portland, Oregon 97209
    Booking Office: 503-227-1127
    Website: www.DantesLive.com
    Facebook: www.facebook.com/DantesLive


    Friday, July 20th, 2018  6 PM
    A fundraiser for the Estacada Area Food Bank!
    The Estacada Foodbank
    272 S Broadway St
    Estacada, OR 97023
    phone: 541 997-2997
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: Here is a an event page
    website: https://www.facebook.com/events/188156882034107/



    Saturday, July 21st, 2018  8 PM
    Scott Landfield Presents
    Tsunami Books
    2585 Willamette Street
    Eugene, OR 97405
    phone: 541-345-8986
    PRICE: $15.00
    website: http://www.tsunamibooks.org
    with super secret guests "The Beer"



    Sunday, July 22nd, 2018  7 PM (Doors at 6)
    KXCRs Summer Celebration
    The Unitarian Fellowship building
    the junction of Hwy 101 & Heceta Beach Rd.
    Florence, OR
    phone: 541 997-2997
    PRICE: $15.00
    Suggested donation $15. Doors open at 6:00. Show begins at 7pm. Special thanks to Chris Chandler and Sean Shanahan for once again sharing their creative talents with Florence fans. For information call 541 997-2997. Please pass the word!

    The Unitarian Fellowship building is located at the junction of Hwy 101 & Heceta Beach Rd.



    Monday, July 23rd, 2018
    Labor's Stewards
    Evergreen College
    Olympia, WA
    website: http://www.evergreen.edu/academics/programs
    Private Event



    Tuesday, July 24th, 2018  7 PM
    James Hardesty Presents
    The Firefly Lounge
    1015 State St
    Bellingham, WA 98255
    PRICE: $8.00
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
    website: www.thefireflylounge.com
    The Firefly Lounge
    1015 N. State St.
    Bellingham, WA 98225

    www.thefireflylounge.com

    ANYONE IN PT? VASHON/ OLYMPIAWanna throw a house concert?  got an idea for a show?  we have the day off dag nab it.

    Thursday, July 26th, 2018  9 PM
    Chandler returns to Seattle with a new show in a new room (for him)
    Hotel Albatross
    2319 NW Market St
    Seattle, WA 98107
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here
    website: http://www.hotelalbatross.com

    updated: 2 years ago