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The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort 2023

    The Muse and Whirled Retort March 2023

    The Muse and Whirled Retort

    chris chandler and Paul Benoit Spring Tour 2023

    Spring Tour 2023

    Hey Everybody!
    It’s that time again. I have been putting out this news letter since the dawn of email.

    I’m gonna wait to the end of the news letter for tour updates and news about Your Poem of the Week and our New CD! and all the other crass commercial announcements. But do take a second to look at them. Thanks O Rama.

    Sorry it has taken me till now to get The March edition out. I was kind of waiting till I got a new piece out. so with out further adieu here it is.

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    Austin, TX
    March 8th, 2023

    Random Thoughts on Nothing
    By Chris Chandler

    I need a new piece.

    I need a new piece.

    I need a new piece.

    What to do? Wait, wait, wait, I have an idea. Where is that little tiny notebook you carry around in your breast pocket where you write down your random thoughts? Yeah, that would work.

    Looking at the list of random thoughts, and then staring at the seemingly random keys on the typewriter and the blankness of the page in front of me, I wonder which is larger, the universe or nothingness?

    So, I type, “Nothing is larger than the universe.” and I look at that statement and think anyway you look at it - it’s true.

    And this stuff just keeps expanding in my mind, expanding like the universe. And the more the universe expands, the more nothingness there is…

    The vast majority of the universe is exactly that... nothing.

    Nothing is in the majority. The Vast majority. The vast majority of the boundless universe is nothing.

    If it were not for voter suppression, nothing would win every election.

    Doing nothing is what most of the universe does best, which made me feel a whole lot better about me being lazy.

    And then from somewhere out there in the vastness of outer space, from out in left field I hear my coach yell, "Stop day dreaming, Chandler!”

    So I did.

    And that’s then it hit me.

    But since this was all a day dream in the first place everything went away.

    And I was left with nothing, and in the middle of that nothingness I heard the molecule say to the planet, "Who is to say which is the right end of a telescope?”

    and then I thought…
    How do you measure nothing?

    And If nothing changed. What would it be?

    And then I thought…

    What is nothing?

    And what is the opposite of nothing?

    If you did have everything… no one could ever be able to ever give you anything. How lonely would that be?

    And what is in the middle of nothing?

    And is that in the middle of no where?

    And is it only in schools that “middle” and “junior” are synonymous?

    I went to Martin Luther King Jr Junior-High.

    Only these days, most places don’t have Junior-High. They have Middle School. MIDDLE SCHOOL! No wonder there are all these Millennials walking around with their unearned cynicism.

    Me, I’m so cynical, I am optimistic.
    WUT? You’re still doing that cynical thing? Sheeze.

    I feel sorry for the Millennials. They have to spend their formative years in middle school. MIDDLE. the middle. Intermediate. Average. Medium.

    Don’t give me anything that is medium.

    Everything in life should be either “Rare” or “Well Done.”

    I don’t know zakly why I say that, because it does not matter how you order your food - it’s still just tomorrow’s poop.

    But don’t get me wrong, I ain’t trying to hate on people younger than me… I mean I’m so old I remember when “Mid-Century” was known simply as “the present.”

    There was no now then.

    I wish people would stop telling me to be positive - because being positive means I am only attracted to the negative.

    I guess what I am trying to say here is, “Life is hard. Dress it up like a penis and have fun with it.”

    Just because that was funny, does not mean I was kidding.

    I can’t help it… I’m just a matador… in a China Shop. Pushing that rock up the hill just so I can ride it back down like a rollercoaster. Zoom!

    “I get to the bottom I go back to the top of the slide.” - Helter-skelter.

    But, If ya don’t hang out on the bottom you’ll never appreciate what it’s like when ya get to the top.

    When I finally made it to the Mountain top - that’s when my ship came in.

    I felt like a moron, but then I realized the opposite of moron is “Lesson.”

    And today’s lesson is that nothing is enormous, Nothing may even be larger than the universe. The Bible says nothing was here first! But then it got colonized by the Garden of Eden.

    And nothing was ever the same.

    The point I’m trying to make here is, when it comes to the planet, if we do nothing that is exactly what will be left.

    And then I thought.
    Hey, I have a new piece.


    The Dates are just below!

    Paul and I are going to be doing shows in early / mid April in Austin, Houston, 3 Shows in New Orleans, Tallahassee, Athens, Asheville, Boone and Aiken. I hope you can make it. Most of these will be a house concert it should be intimate fun don’t miss it it has been a minute since we played in this neck of the woods. We will be touring in support of our terrific new album “Don’t Go Back to Sleep”

    Speaking of the album it hovered around number 100 on the folk charts for 8 weeks! If you would like to get your copy you can get a physical or digital copy by clicking on the album cover or right here:

    I want a copy of the new chandler and Benoit CD
    or Pasting


    You may have noticed I am not playing lots of live shows these days. There are lots of reasons for that. I would like to keep this little show touring along and I could use your help!

    Being a continuing contributor really helps me do these very creative and consistent Live Streams from My little Puppet Theatre known as the Jim Alberti Theatre. Seriously, for just a couple of bucks a month you too could be a patron of the arts and help me keep doing my Important work. Thanks so much!

    Click Here: YES! I want to be a continuing Supporter of The Chris Chandler Show

    If you want to make a single donation to The Chris Chandler Show You can click on one of the pictures or click Here:

    I Want to Help The Chris Chandler Show via Pay Pal

    I Want to Help The Chris Chandler Show via Venmo

    Your Poem of The Week

    I am continuing on with the Poem of The Week as we dip our toes into the post pandemic era. But I have enjoyed doing them and I think you enjoy them as well. I broadcast almost every Tuesday at 7 central live Streamed on Face Book and then Posted on to my You tube Cannel.

    If you would like to follow me on facebook you can do so at

    PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube Channel By clicking on the video and follow the prompts or by clicking here.

    I want to subscribe to Chris Chandler’s YouTube Channel!

    H.E.R.E.’.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Tuesday, March 21st, 2023 ON LINE

    Pod Cast Interview with James O'Brein All Your Days
    Stories of how creative careers transform over time. With a focus on musicians, writers, and creators of all kinds, 'All Your Days' explores how lives and bodies of work are forged, fortified, undone, rebuilt, and altered. These are the liner notes to the struggles that shape us, from early days to twists of fate, vanishing acts and resurrections, survival, and all our tomorrows.

    Host: James O'Brien
    Mixed and mastered by Matthew Girard

    Tuesday, March 21st, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST

    The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook

    Friday, April 7th, 2023 8:00 PM Austin

    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in Austin Green Man Coffee
    RSVP (512) 627-4097 or
    Austin, TX
    Phone: (512) 627-4097
    We will Gather at 7 bring your own Picnic. Music at 8

    Tuesday, March 28st, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST

    The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook

    Tuesday, April 4th, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST

    The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook

    Saturday, April 8th, 2023 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM Houston
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in a House Concert at the home of Kelly
    Email Me or Text me for the address 240 476 4976Houston, TX
    This will be a rare and intimate house concert. It has been a while since we have returned to Houston. SO looking forward to it.

    Sunday, April 9th, 2023 3:00 PM New Orleans
    Featuring at the Maple Leaf Poetry Series Maple Leaf
    8316 Oak StNew Orleans, LA 70118831
    This is an afternoon Gig This is the longest running poetry series in North America!

    Sunday, April 9th, 2023 8:30 PM New Orleans
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in a House Concert The Pin Church
    RSVP advance tickets coming soon
    That will get you the address
    Metarie, LA

    Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST

    The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook

    Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 New Orleans
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show Hi-Ho Lounge 6:00 PM
    2239 St ClaudeNew Orleans, LA

    Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 5:00 PM Tallahasse
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show Play Happy Hour in Tallahasse The Blue Tavern
    1206 N. Monroe St.
    Tallahasse, FL

    Thursday, April 13th, 2023 Athens
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show TBA
    Athens, GA

    Friday, April 14th, 2023 7:30 PM Ashville
    The Chris Chandler Show in Asheville The Stop Light Concert Series
    RSVP 630-258-0635 for the addressAhseville, NC
    Limited Parking. Try to car pool. Donations. No one turned away for lack of funds.

    Saturday, April 15th, 2023 Boone
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in Boone NC TBA
    Boone, NC

    Sunday, April 16th, 2023 Akien
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in Aiken, SC TBA
    Aiken, SC

    Tuesday, April 18th, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST

    The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook