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The Chris Chandler Show

  • Chris Chandler's  Muse and Whirled Retort  October, 2009

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .RE.T.O.R.T
    October 01, 2009
    Vol. XI issue i
    Special 11th Anniversary Edition
    Silver Spring, MD


    Wait --- Wait --- Wait just a second here. We MUST have a sec for a rare but still important crass commercial announcement. It is from our sponsor ,um, me.

    Ya see, it is done! The new CD is finished. It is named after the first thing ya say to a hitchhiker: "So, Where Ya Headed?"

    It is fully recorded and mixed and wow, does it sound good. My best studio effort in years!

    All due to Paul Benoit He is nothing short of a world class slide, roots and Americana guitar player living in Seattle, El Salvador and Paris. He both accompanies on and produced this new record, "So, Where Ya Headed?"

    I am posting a song from it -- for a few days -- that seems to fit the theme of this newsletter at Listen-NOW!
    If you would like to purchase an advance copy, I will send you a signed copy of the new CD for $20 bucks including postage.

    The easiest way is via PayPal by clicking here:

    I-Want-To-Help! >

    If this link does not work, TRY CLICKING ON THE PICTURE or go to and click on the virtual tip jar. The other way is to send a check or money order to:

    Chris Chandler
    3128 Memory Lane
    Silver Spring, MD 20904

    In either case, make sure you include your snail mail address and how you would like it signed.

    And one more thing before we get to the featured newsletter: The tour. See tour dates if you are on the east coast from NYC around the peninsula of Florida all the way into Texas!

    NOW, enough of the crass commercial announcement and on to

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .RE.T.O.R.T
    October 01, 2009
    Vol. XI issue i
    Silver Spring, MD

    Yes folks, it is the eleventh anniversary of the M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.,  and what better way to celebrate than a report from Pittsburgh, PA, where the G-20 has been this month (as have I).

    It used to be the G-8, but they had to make it a higher numberwell, because of inflation. Some people applaud the number because the say it makes the group (or gang) more inclusive.  But I know better.  Its really because if they kept it at 8 they would have had to kick out the United States.  But, that is not the reason I want the number to get smaller.  I want one big  G.  

    Oddly, we are the only country in the G-20 with out health care.  If it were a meeting of the worlds best healthcare providers, we would have to have the G-250 in order to include the United States.

    But what about the other 250 some odd countries?  Why werent they invited to participate in a conference on the worlds economic affairs?  We would have had to give them some time off  and we cant have that!  They have cheap plastic crap to make.  Where would Wal-Mart be if we gave the third world some time off.?  And where would we be with out Wal-Mart?  The G-100?

    Those peon third world nations are either rouges or slaves.  They are a lot like you and me, too busy paying finance fees and bounced check charges to ever get out of the sweat shop.

    The majority of the world is out pickin cotton, a few tokens are happy to be workin' in the big house while a couple of fat cats are sitttin' on the front porch drinkin' mint juleps.

    You put a bunch of wackos dressed like minute men in a town hall meeting, trying to protect the insurance corporations, and it is round-the-clock coverage, but you put thousands on the streets and you fire tear gas at them, and barely mention it on the news.  Sheeze, ya gotta go to Iran and march on the streets to get coverage on the news.

    I played there with Anne Feeney for the release of Michael Moore's new Movie "Capitalism, A Love Story."  It's international debut was screened for free there.  I highly recommend it.

    Sometimes I think we are all in a traffic jam on the highway to hell, honking our horns at the devil himself, and shouting, Cant we get a move on?

    We got half of us working a lousy construction job trying to widen the highway to hell, and the other half working on a more fuel efficient handbasket.

    We got the Chinese offering us rope for sale and Bank of America is offering expensive knot tying classes for a small finance fee.

    They have (literally) started charging a fee if you dont make enough deposits in a month (regardless of your balance) and American Express has decided they can lower your credit limit if you start making purchases at the Dollar Store (really).

    They are making record profits not in spite of the bad economy  but because of it.  Why is it our economy collapsed?  Lets find somebody thats broke and then charge em for it.   Its no wonder the banks have failed.  Bounced check charges, late fees, over the limit fees, ATM fees. Its like my friend Roger Manning used to say, People work hard their whole lives, wind up with nothing.  Me, I aint got nothing.  At least I didnt work hard for it.

    Now that everybody is broke, they have figured out new ways to take money from you with this bailout.  These CEOs with their golden parachutes between you and me I wish they were real golden parachutes  like King Midas jumping out of a 727.

    Its ironic that the principle economic power at the G-20 is a communist country.  The capitalist countries are bailing the banks out with public money.  Its the twentieth anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall  yet when our wall  Wall Street almost fell we rebuilt it stronger than ever while giving a hand job to the corpse of Khrushchev. But this turn of events ain't turning Khrushchev on.  That ain't a hard on that's rigor mortis.  Yet somehow we only wind up with the lousy parts of socialism.  WHERES MY HEALTH CARE?  I dont want to own the banks. WHERES MY HEALTH CARE?  I dont wanna own the car companies. WHERES MY HEALTH CARE?  

    But since we are bailing the banks out, I say, lets do to them what theyve been doing to us.  Lets give them one of these ballooning variable rate interests.  Lets give them over the limit fees.  Lets give them finance charges.  Lets give them bounced check charges.  

    Then maybe we could take it back to the G-8.  Or the G-6.  Or 4?

    Or how bout one big G?


    Paul and I are planning a tour in October. If you are in
    DC, NYC, Philly, Anywhere in MD or VA, Ashville, Winston-Salem, Charlotte, Atlanta, Savannah, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, De Land, Tampa, Miami, Gainesville, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Houston, Dallas, Ft. Worth, Austin, San Marcos, San Antonio, well be there. Can you help in any of these cities - or anywhere in between?

    See below for details!
    The New CD is finished! It is named after the first thing ya say to a hitchhiker: "So, Where Ya Headed?"

    I am posting a song from it -- for a few days -- that seems to fit the theme of this news letter at Listen-Now!

    The thing is, now I have to pay to have it to be manufactured, and you too can help!!! In fact, you can help by doing one of the following:

    You can purchase an advance copy. I will send you a signed copy of the new CD for $20 bucks including postage.

    It would be a huge help!!!!!!!!!!

    The easiest way is via PayPal by clicking here:

    I-want-to-help! >

    If this link does not work TRY CLICKING ON THE PICTURE or go to and click on the virtual tip jar. The other option is to send a check or money order to:

    Chris Chandler
    3128 Memory Lane
    Silver Spring, MD 20904

    In either case, make sure you include your snail mail address and how you would like it signed or your name listed.

    Mary Travers (November 9, 1936  September 16, 2009)
    We will miss you.

    T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.
    Shirley Myers, Michelle Selllers, Celene deLoach, Jen Delyth, David Steele, Gordon Flett, Karen Newman; DJ; Chris, Liana, Francis, and Monica Kennedy, Anne Feeney, Roy Zimmerman, Joe and Jay, EEQ, Pat Barnes, Bryan Miller, Matt Daughtery, Seth Lamb, Foxy, Frankly Nesbet, Amy Malkoff, Jim and Catherine Infantino.

    H.E.R.E.'.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    with Paul Benoit
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H St. NE
    Washington, DC 20002
    phone: 202.398.SHOW(7469)
    PRICE: $10.00

    Thursday, October 15th, 2009 8 PM
    Red Emma's Presents
    Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse
    800 St. Paul
    Baltimore, Maryland 21202
    phone: 410.230.0450

    Friday, October 16th, 2009
    Local 1199's Martin Luther King, Jr. Auditorium
    A celebration of the Life of Julus Margolin
    310 West 43rd Street (between 8th and 9th Avenues)
    New York, NY

    Saturday, October 17th, 2009 8 PM
    At the home of Jim and Sheila Brand
    Last Chance Cafe
    Suburban Philly (Jenkintown), PA 19046
    phone: 215 663 8267
    PRICE: $15.00

    Monday, October 19th, 2009 7:00 PM
    Ron Goad Presents an invited songwriter caberet
    Brewer's Alley Restaurant & Brewery
    124 North Market Street
    Frederick, MD 21701
    phone: 301-631-0089
    several acts performing 3 songs each

    Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 8 PM
    with Dany Dolinger
    Franklin's Cafe and Wine Bar
    20 S. Mason Street
    Harrisonburg, VA
    phone: 540 434 3002

    We need Help here.  Can anyone in the region chime in?

    Friday, October 23
    Ashville, NC
    super secret show.

    Saturday, October 24th, 2009 9:00 PM
    email for deets
    Underground Show
    Ashville, NC

    Sunday, October 25th, 2009 8 pm
    with Paul Benoit
    Eddie's Attic
    515-B North McDonough St. (upstairs)
    Decatur, GA 30030
    phone: 404-377-4976
    PRICE: $10.00

    Monday, October 26th, 2009 8 pm
    South Tampa House Concert
    Tampa, FL
    Contact Gloria 813-837-6572 for deets

    Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 8 pm
    with Paul Benoit
    Luna Cafe
    775 Northeast 125th Street
    North Miami, FL 33161
    phone: 3057997123

    Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
    WSLR Presents
    Venue TBA
    Sarasota, FL
    contact 941-894-6469 for details

    Thursday, October 29th, 2009 9 PM
    Joe Courter Presents
    Civic Media Center
    433 S Main St
    Gainesville, FL 32601

    Sunday, November 1st, 2009 8 pm
    Chris and Paul with Jessica Radcliffe
    Fair Grinds Coffeehouse
    3133 Ponce deLeon
    New Orleans, LA 70119
    phone: (504) 913-9072

    Monday, November 2nd, 2009
    a workshop - tentative
    Studio 525
    Covington, LA

    Tuesday, November 2nd, 2009
    House Concert
    Dallas, TX

    Thursday, November 5th, 2009
    House Concert
    At the Home of Amy Sue Berlin
    San Marcos, TX
    Friday, November 6th, 2009
    MC and Featured act Project Chumbo First Friday
    Ruta Maya
    3601S Congress (behind x-pose)
    Austin, TX

    Saturday, November 7th
    House Concert Austin, TX
    RSVP Emily 512 470-7767

    Sunday, February 8th, 2009 7pm
    Houston, TX
    early show
    Dan Electros Guitar Bar
    1031 E. 24th
    Houston, TX
    phone: 713-862-8707