The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort 2011

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T. July 2011


    Chris Chandler's M.u.s.e. .a.n.d. .W.h.i.r.l.e.d. .R.e.t.o.r.t. July 2011

    Chico, CA
    Vol. XII issue vi

    Paul and I have been having a tremendous tour – looking forward to returning to the great NW!  and well…. The Great  South West (of Canada)
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    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    Friday July 1, 2011
    Chico, CA
    Vol. XII issue vi

    Matadors
    By Chris Chandler
    Flyer Girl by Paul Benoit

    Understand that this entire poem takes place in a split second.
    Which is to some an eternity.

    Such as the split second between the flight of a trapeze artist and the moment she grasps the hand of her catcher.

    flyer girl, you whistle in the morning
    and you start to twirl
    to deal with the yearning
    and you found a pearl,
    with the whole town burning

    "Ladies and Gentlemen"

    I thought to myself but the words just wouldn't come out – not this time.

    One hundred thousand times before the words have flown freely – but not this time…

    I fumbled in the front pocket of my red velvet jacket and pulled out my notes… yep that's what it says alright – "Ladies and Gentle…"  

    What was I to do?  It wouldn't come… Panic over came me –

    this city of bridges
    could leave you in stitches
    and ridin on two wheels
    could drive you to ditches
    you're better in the air then
    behind the switches

    I peaked through the closed curtains and peered into a sea of dull faces waiting to be entertained.

    The words would not come.

    Their empty eyes glinting like the lights of a ship viewed from beneath the water. I found myself swimming in their sea, hungry.

    Fish can not see above the water – occasionally they can make out movements gestures – even danger above the water… sometimes… on a clear day… they will gather in a school to watch…for  there is a thin line between the water and the air and it is only in the middle of that thin line one knows there is another world out there.  

    A fire juggler can not see beyond his own ring of fire, but he knows there is another world out there.  

    For as Einstein pointed out: "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

    Perhaps that thin line between them is a red velvet curtain.

    your red hair glows
    like a late night ember
    and everybody knows
    but sometimes they don't remember
    you're waitin for the show,
    you're waitin for the show

    A performer on a bright stage can not see into the darkened audience but he knows there is another world out there. The audience does too.

    Like a school of fish… It is why they came.

    Only the curtain exists between us.

    And that curtain must go up.

    and everyday's a stage
    and everyone's a player
    so girl just turn the page
    your stunts are your prayers
    you're waitin for the show,
    you're waitin for the show

    It is the performer and the audience together that can lift the veil between the worlds known and unknown.

    But only if someone dives in.

    And we must dive in.

    To go freely – not knowing your own weight.

    The house lights go to half – but I realize…

    I can not swim.

    But still I dive in…

    The school swims together in perfect unison like aerial fliers knowing no gravity except that of their comradory and their desire for spectacle.

    Flips and turns and loopty loops and unpredictable pirouettes. .

    and if you go freely you won't feel your own weight
    if you go freely you won't feel your won weight
    if you go freely you won't feel your own weight

    But it is my turn to fly freely – to add my component to the presentation –
    But the words would not come.

    The stage manager is back stage with a hook.

    In Terror. I break from the school. Swimming. Alone.  Hungry. Eyeing a  silver spinner – I am thinking it's dinner time – but as soon as I bite -- out of the blue -- a magic string sucks me from the known universe…  

    Suddenly, I am lieng on the deck of a boat floundering. Their are aliens wearing bright orange vests and baseball hats and butterfly nets.

    I am unable to breath in the alien's atmosphere.  All seems lost.   The lights continue to fade.  

    The red velvet curtain rises

    you wake up in the evening
    wondering what the day was for
    you learned about gravity
    and that less was more
    you're movin your body,
    you're movin your body

    The sea of empty faces disappears as a large follow spot hits me center stage as the Audience looks to me to tell them what to feel - for me to give them permission to go freely and not feel their own weight.

    But all I feel is heavy.  I can not fly.  Or swim.

    everyday you're thrown
    and everyday you tumble
    like a flower grown
    it leaves you feelin humble
    you're waitin for the show,
    you're waitin for the show

    The applause sputters and dies out leaving me with an uncomfortable silence…

    a full five minutes passes – the silence turns to heckles as Fruit flies freely – not knowing its own weight –

    I am floundering.

    I remove my jacket to use it as a shield to dodge the fruit but a Bull sees it as a signal to charge.  There is a large swelling of applause from the empty ocean. It gives me confidence.  

    "Ladies and…"

    Perhaps it is applause that allows one to defy gravity.

    "Gentleman!"

    They are cheering loudly… and then I realize they are rooting for the bull.

    if you go freely you won't feel your own weight 3 x

    But I don't care that they are rooting for the bull.  At least they are cheering… I  am unaware of my own weight.

    For tonight… I must be Myro the Magnificent: the heralded undisputed – undefeated Greatest Matador of all time…

    Then I have the sinking revelation that the bull really is charging and all LIVING matadors are undefeated.

    you fly through the air,
    with a soft breeze blowin
    and you don't even care,
    what the people think they're knowin
    and the ones that you thrill,
    they're all standin still

    The Stage manager has set down her hook and replaced it with a butterfly net.  

    I am floundering on the deck.  The aliens scoop me into a net and toss me back into the water.

    Where I witness the tiniest of tiny minnows performing a beatific ballet for an audience of much larger fish in an effort to convince it that they are indeed enormous – which is not unlike the reason that insecure performers emolliate themselves for approval.

    I try to join them – but now I am an old guy with a hook in my mouth trying to convince the school that there is life beyond what you can see in this universe.  

    Naturally, they don't believe me – they put me on a reality TV and I find myself trying to convince Jerry Springer that I was abducted by aliens.

    I am a laughing stock – but at least – they are laughing…

    At last, I can fly.

    I CAN fly.

    this city of bridges
    could leave you ion stitches
    and ridin on two wheels could drive you to ditches
    you're better in the air then behind the switches

    There are many ways to convince an audience that there is another world that exists within this world of dreary theatre seats and boxes of stale greasy pop corn.

    For you must remember that this entire poem takes place in a split second.

    and if you go freely you won't feel your own weight
    if you go freely you won't feel your won weight
    if you go freely you won't feel your own weight

    Which to some is an eternity.

    Such as the split second between the flight of a trapeze artist…

    "Ladies and Gentlemen"
    … and she grasps the hand of her catcher.

    A split second in which we all can fly…

    "Come gather round me people!"

    One in which fish can walk…

    "Yawza Yawza Yawza!"

    One in which the bull dons a red cape and trades his horns for a sword.
    "Step right up!"

    One in which the bird is free from the chains of the sky….

    and if you go freely you won't feel your own weight
    if you go freely you won't feel your won weight
    if you go freely you won't feel your own weight

    The curtain is up.

    I hear the applause and I realize that I am right… that THIS is the alternative universe….

    In he split second between when the trapeze artist flies – and she grasps the hand of her catcher…

    Which is the split second between two hands clapping.



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    Happy Birthday Anne Feeney!
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    There are a few dates out there still longing to be filled – have a look – perhaps you are in the area and would be into having us at your house for a house concert.
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    T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.
    Jen Delyth, Paul Benoit, Frankie Hernandez, Camp CALM, The Kerrville Folk Festival,
    Dalis Allen, Tim Mason, Brino, Donna Snyder, Sunita Smith, Steve O"Laughlin, Melisa, Steve Key, Chris Bricker, Kari-Ann, The Mama Buzz, The Oakland Poetry Slam



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    H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Friday, July 1st, 2011 8:00 PM
    at the home of Jake and Cassie
    House Concert
    RSVP: jacoblashbrook@gmail.com
    Chico, CA

    Saturday, July 2nd, 2011 8 PM
    chandler and Benoit
    Out of the Way Cafe
    132 Blodgett
    Williams, OR 97339
    phone: 541 846 6666
    PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: click here

    Sunday, July 3rd, 2011 8 PM
    Talent, OR
    This gig has moved from Tease in Ashland to:
    the Avalon Bar & Grill
    105 W. Valley View Road
    Talent, OR
    phone: 541.512.8864

    Thursday, July 7th, 2011 8 PM
    The Pre-Fair Party
    Private Party
    phone: RSVP 541 942 8596


    Friday, July 8th, 2011
    Oregon Country Fair
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org

    Saturday, July 9th, 2011
    Oregon Country Fair
    Shady Grove Stage
    1:00 - 2:00 pm, :60 set
    Veneta, OR
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org

    Sunday, July 10th, 2011
    Oregon Country Fair
    Veneta, OR
    Blue Moon Stage
    12:00 - 12:50 pm, :50 set
    The Library SHow at Dark Thirty
    website: http://www.oregoncountryfair.org

    Wednesday, July 13th, 2011 7:00 PM
    With Paul Benoit
    The Public Library
    825 NW Wade St
    Estacada, OR

    Thursday, July 14th, 2011 9pm
    Peter Wilde Presents
    sam bonds garage
    407 blair
    eugene
    phone: 431-6603
    website: http://www.sambonds.com

    Friday, July 15th, 2011 8 PM
    Axe and Fiddle
    657 East Main Street
    Cottage Grove, OR 97424
    phone: 541-942-5942
    website: http://axeandfiddle.com/

    Saturday, July 16th, 2011 8 pm
    at the home of Angela Koning
    House Concert
    RSVP for directions  Angela Koning 541-760-4084
    Corvalis, OR


    Looking for work in Northern Oregon southern WA July 18 20 21

    Thursday, July 21, 2011 8:30 pm
    Portland, or
    The Industrial Workers of The World presents With David Rovics
    Alberta Rose Theatre
    3000 NE Alberta Street
    Portland, or 97211
    Website: www.albertarosetheatre.com

    Friday, July 22nd, 2011 9:00 PM
    The Long awaited  return
    Sirens
    823 Water
    Port Townsend
    phone: 360.379.1100

    Saturday July 23 24
    Looking for work in Olympia or there abouts.

    THURSDAY JULY 28TH 2011 9:00
    Seattle WA
    Egan's Jam House
    Ballard WA


    Friday, July 29th, 2011
    with Jen Delyth
    Seattle Scottish Highlands Festival
    45224 284th Ave SE
    Enumclaw, WA
    website: http://www.sshga.org/home.htm
    65th Annual NW Scottish Highland Games at the formerly known as the King County Fair Grounds showing off Jen's Fabulous Art Work

    Saturday, July 30th, 2011
    with Jen Delyth
    Seattle Scottish Highlands Festival
    45224 284th Ave SE
    Enumclaw, WA
    website: http://www.sshga.org/home.htm
    65th Annual NW Scottish Highland Games at the formerly known as the King County Fair Grounds showing off Jen's Fabulous Art Work

    Sunday, July 31st, 2011
    with Jen Delyth
    Seattle Scottish Highlands Festival
    45224 284th Ave SE
    Enumclaw, WA
    website: http://www.sshga.org/home.htm
    65th Annual NW Scottish Highland Games at the formerly known as the King County Fair Grounds showing off Jen's Fabulous Art Work

    Monday, August 1st, 2011 9 PM
    An evening with Chandler and Benoit
    Acoustic Green Frog Tavern
    900 N. State St.
    Bellingham, WA
    USA
    phone: 360.756.1213
    website: http://www.acoustictavern.com/

    Tuesday August 2nd
    Victoria BC TBA

    Wed August 3rd
    Vancouver BC  TBA

    Friday, August 5th, 2011
    shambhala music festival
    Salmo, BC
    website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com

    Saturday, August 6th, 2011
    shambhala music festival
    Salmo, BC
    website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com

    Sunday, August 7th, 2011
    shambhala music festival
    Salmo, BC
    website: http://www.shambhalamusicfestival.com

    updated: 10 years ago