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The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort 2019


    Nov 7, 2019
    Washington, DC

    Hey Everybody,

    I am sorry to have not written in the past few months, but things have been in heavy flux for me of late… and frankly, I was not sure what to say.
    What I am trying to say here is, this is a very “news heavy” newsletter.

    I have been in Pittsburgh, PA for the past two months assisting Anne Feeney gather together the calendars and news paper articles and journal entries and mountains of photographs, buttons and 73 gallons of t shirts from just about every political, labor and peace campaign she has been involved in over the past 50 years. This collection will constitute her memoires.
    She will be moving to Sweden to, among other endeavors, pursue writing them. I look forward to it for it will be a great read! The world is a much better place because she is in it!

    While I was only directly involved for about a decade of those campaigns I look back on it as some of the most productive of which I have ever been involved. It makes me proud.

    But sometimes, doors close. But what is that old sage proverb?
    When one door closes another opens.

    Great gobbely jeepers, I hope that is true. Because while in Pittsburgh I have had another major door close in my life.
    The door of Oakland, CA is now closed.

    My former life partner Jen and I have decided to untangle the kudzu from the Sir Frycheiniog so that the two plants can grow and prosper -- separate from each other. I truly wish her the best, and I hope you will as well. So long Celtic Art Studio.
    In short, I am no longer living in my beloved Oakland, CA and I am very very unsure what is to happen next.

    I am hoping to relocate to Eugene, OR as the best guess. However I find myself basically unemployed and homeless. I am open to and would appreciate suggestions in the Eugene area.

    At present, I am in good hands. After completing my mission with Anne in Pittsburgh, I tumbled into the helpful arms of a college buddy of mine here in Washington, DC. He has opened his doors to me and I am temporarily crashing in his basement and through him I have picked up some work as a stage hand.

    I have not had any income coming in in the past 2 ½ months and had lots going out! I am happy for the work!

    I will remain here indefinitely but not permanently as I continue to lick my wounds.

    I am not pursuing shows in the immediate future - frankly I am a little wobbely for that. But I am looking for work for the Chris Chandler Show this summer. If you have some suggestions please let me know.

    That is the news for now. Thanks for being on the same team. We are at our greatest when we are at this together.

    Love O Rama,

    And now for:

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

    Nov 7, 2019
    Washington, DC

    It was a grocery store parking lot, in Toronto I think.

    There were four lanes of heavy traffic zooming past the intersection…

    I saw a break in the traffic…

    or at least I considered it a break…

    I gunned it to through the sound of car horns, screeching car tires, skidding breaks and the sight of normally polite Canadians uncharacteristically giving me the finger, not to mention the sound of an irate Anne Feeney screaming… “Didn’t you see that sign?”

    “Which sign?”

    “The one that clearly said ‘DO NOT ENTER’”

    “Yes, I saw it.”

    “But you decided to do it anyway?”

    “What do you mean? I wasn’t entering I was exiting.”

    Every entrance way is an exit and every exit is an entrance.

    I think of every exit as being an entrance to somewhere else. I mean, you are not going anywhere without first opening a door.

    Perhaps that is why Emerson said, “Be an opener of doors”

    It is the opening of the door that is the key, not the key that opens the door.
    And once you go through that door – neither you nor the world you have entered will ever be the same.

    You will indeed be wiser but somehow less confident, happier, humbler, filled with regret, remorse, yet better equipped to understand the boundless mysteries that lie ahead.

    I’ve always felt if you come across a particular door to open, you prolly ougta open it, otherwise that door will haunt you the remainder of your days.

    There are those that walk through this life pointing out the doors we can go through… the ones that hold the door open… the literal doormen of the unconscious… The ones checking IDs or ids… no ego. Holding the door open and collecting the universal cover-charge.

    Some doors open and close like seasons that lead the way to new horizons and time zones.

    The doors of life are painful for what you are to become is a process of shedding what you have been.

    Halloween is about listening for your own doors to be rapped upon and then handing out rewards to the ones that haunt you the most. Conversely, It is not about finding the right costume… It is about dreaming of what you might be come and then acting upon it, and then rapping upon the doors of strangers for the sole purpose of being rewarded for your efforts.

    I always ask my fellow commuters along the toll road of perpetuity “What broke your heart so bad that you had to close every door, and never fixed the doorbell?”

    One kind word can grant you the heavens, for it is a kind word, and a kind word alone that will open the doors you truly want opened. Those doors are attached to the walls from which the world is made.

    Be an opener of doors.

    Prove that Chivalry is not dead…

    And by doing so… You will be next contestant on

    “The Life is Right.”

    And you will have the power to show us all what is behind door #1.


    For the first time in 30 years, I have no dates on the books and am – for the moment taking a little break.
    I will miss you and the open road.