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The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort

    Hey everybody,

    It’s that time again!

    It has been a long road, mostly divided highway since our last little email reunion which took place at The Kerrville Folk Festival, but now I am at The Oregon Country Faire. Some of you may have read that my trusty steed was broken into. Nothing significant was stolen, but their failed attempt to steal it left her wounded and it cost $1200 to get her healthy enough to gallup again. Ouch.

    Show business is so glamorous.

    That said, I gonna put my crass commercial announcement here.

    *****

    If you can afford to support me or this newsletter you can do so by clicking on any of these icons!  If you can afford to be a continuing contributor you can do so at Patreon.  The price of a cup of coffee a month at Starbux  makes all the difference!

    *****

    Enough! Enough already, with the crass commercial announcements. There will be tour info and other announcements following… but for now it it time time time for your:

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

    July 4, 2023

    Veneta, OR

    The Road Map of America

    By Chris Chandler

    The road map of America unfolds before me,

    from God‘s own glove compartment.

    Used as a napkin to wipe the grease from my chicken fingers,

    purchased from the devils old drive-through.

    Discarded out the window of want,

    and somersaults

    past silos and skyscrapers

    that materialize upon the horizon,

    and then disappear

    through the tiny black hole

    that is my rearview.

    Dogs and horses parade the pasture,

    where dogwoods and horsemint bloom.

    Urban blight, and rural decay.

    Solid, white cotton fields,

    like freshly fallen snow,

    softening the Carolina landscape.

    Picked by illegal immigrants

    and shipped to chemical plants in Brazil.

    Transformed into the latest poly fiber.

    Fifteen percent cotton.

    Shipped to Bangladesh,

    and sewn into tablecloths

    and shipped back to South Carolina

    to be stocked up on the shelves of a Walmart

    by the very same people

    that once worked the textile mills

    that lie abandoned

    along the thin highways of fat America.

    Purple mountains travesty,

    and amber waves of inequity.

    Mudflap angels and divisive bumper stickers,

    redefine patriotism on the rear bumper of a 1996 Toyota, Tahoe

    with a vaxless driver and a West Virginia license plate.

    “Honk if you love Jesus,” it reads.

    I do so, because I do.

    She gives me the finger,

    and it makes me love Jesus all the more.

    Billboards blaring God guns in Gentlemen’s clubs

    fail to see their own irony .

    A baseball glove, apple pie, and an A.R. 15.

    “Pure American,” it reads.

    High heeled, hellcat in fishnets.

    “Hot legs always hiring. Beer specials noon to 4 AM. Amateurs and couples welcome,” it reads.

    Jesus Christ himself, embossed and start black and white post, social realism style

    with bright, red realistic blood dripping from an ash crown of thorns.

    “This blood’s for you,” it reads.

    Headlights on.

    Gas prices as high as the traffic

    and my expectations.

    Eighteen wheelers lined up at ports of call ferrying prime next day deliveries

    past telephone and power-lines.

    Rain, refineries and rainbows.

    Freshly paved asphalt glistens prismatic

    in the Appalachian drizzle.

    Road side fireworks fleeting flare.

    Half price on the fifth, it’s only fair.

    The rocket’s red glare.

    The bombs bursting in air.

    British invasion

    still floods the airwaves,

    on the Fourth of July.

    Windshield wipers slapping time

    I was holding no one’s had in mine

    as I sang every song the radio new.

    **************

    A.N.N.O.U.N.C.M.E.N.T.S.

    Paul and I are looking forward to our (mostly) North West tour. Dates are below. Paul has a new album coming out ay day now, “The King’s Dream.” Details are at his site: https://www.PaulBenoitMusic.Net

    I have put a brief pause on the 5th season of “Your Poem of the Week.” I assure you it will return. I invite you to visit my YouTube Channel where all of seasons three and four are posted as well as much of seasons one and two.  I just need a few more subscribers to monitize my channel.  (please)

     

    If you are wanting merch here is the latest.

    Thanks again for your continued support. I could not do this with out you.

    *******
    H.E.R.E.’.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Friday, July 7th, 2023 9:00 PM to 10:30 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE FAIRE SITE STAGE TIMES TBA

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Saturday, July 8th, 2023 12:20 PM to 1:30 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE BLUE MOON STAGE

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Saturday, July 8th, 2023

    The Oregon Country Faire Blue Moon Stage 12:20 -1:20

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org

    Sunday, July 9th, 2023 3:00 PM to 4:30 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE BLUE MOON STAGE

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Sunday, July 9th, 2023

    The Oregon Country Faire Blue Moon Stage 3:00- 4:00

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Sunday, July 9th, 2023 9:00 PM to 10:30 PM

    THE OREGON COUNTRY FAIRE TE LIBRARY SHOW

    Venita, OR

    Website: https://www.oregoncountryfair.org/

    Sunday, July 9th, 2023

    The Annual unplugged Library Show. A Faire Family Favorite. Dark:30

    Saturday, July 15th, 2023

    PORTLAND SCOTISH HIGHLAND GAMES MT HOOD CC (W JEN DELYTH)

    Portland, OR

    Purchase Tickets: For More Info

    Saturday, July 22nd, 2023

    SEATTLE SCOTTISH HIGHLAND GAMES ENEMCLAW STATE PARK (WITH JEN DELYTH)

    Enemclaw, WA

    Website: https://www.sshga.org/

    Sunday, July 23rd, 2023

    SEATTLE SCOTTISH HIGHLAND GAMES ENEMCLAW STATE PARK (WITH JEN DELYTH)

    Enemclaw, WA

    Website: https://www.sshga.org/

    Wednesday, July 26th, 2023 7:00 PM

    HOUSE CONCERT IN BELLINGHAM THE HOME OF CARYN SIMMONS

    DM me for the addressBellingham, WA

    Friday, July 28th, 2023 7:00 PM to 9:00

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW RETURN TO SEATTLE! EGAN’S BALLARD JAM HOUSE

    1707 NW Market StreetSeattle, WA 98107

    Phone: 206-789-1621

    Website: http://www.ballardjamhouse.com

    Saturday, July 29th, 2023 8:00 PM to 10:00 PM

    BLACK CAT CABARET SNAP DRAGON CAFE

    17817 VASHON HWY SW

    Vashon, WA

    Phone: 206-463-1310

    Sunday, July 30th, 2023 3:00 PM to 5:00 PM

    CHARLES SMITH PRESENTS A HOUSE CONCERT CHUBROCKS BBQ SHACK AND MAN CAVE

    15998 Clear Creek RdPoulsbo, WA 98370

    Website: https://www.facebook.com/chubrocksbbqshack

    Tuesday, August 1st, 2023 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM

    CHANDLER AND PAUL LONG AWAITED RETURN TO OLYMPIA LANTERN RECORDS

    509 Washington St. SE

    Olympia, WA

    Phone: (360) 402-9055

    Website: https://recordstoreday.com/Store/24455

    Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023 7:00 PM

    THE EASTSIDE CULTURAL SOCIETY PRESENTS A HOUSE CONCERT AT THE HOME OF BROCK NOYES

    DM Me for Addressses

    Thursday, August 3rd, 2023

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW RETURNS TO COTTAGE GROVE THE AXE AND FIDDLE

    657 E Main StCottage Grove, OR 97424

    Phone: 541-942-5942

    Website: https://axeandfiddle.com/

    Friday, August 4th, 2023 7:00 PM

    EUGENE! TSUNAMI BOOKS

    2585 Willamette St.

    Eugene, OR 97405

    Phone: 541-349-8986

    Price: $15.00

    Website: http://www.tsunamibooks.org/

    Saturday, August 5th, 2023 7:00 PM

    HOUSE CONCERT IN PORTLAND HOME OF DEAN AND ABBY BOUDOURIS

    PM me for the address.Portland, OR

    Sunday, August 6th, 2023

    ASHLAND

    INTIMATE HOUSE CONCERT AT THE HOME OF KIRSTEN SCHIPPER

    You Will Have to DM Me for the address.Ashland, OR

    Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

    PAUL AND CHRIS RETURN TO THE NORTH BAY THE LOST CHURCH

    between Mendocino Avenue and B StreetSanta Rosa, CA 95401

    Phone: 415-320-1408

    Website: https://thelostchurch.org/contact/#santa-rosa

    Wednesday, August 9th, 2023 8:00 PM

    BARFLY CABERET MARTUNIS

    4 Valencia StSan Francisco, CA

    Website: https://m.facebook.com/pages/category/Cocktail-Bar/Martunis-994554857261865/?_rdr#_=_

    As a duo with Paul Benoit and Dawn Oberg

    Thursday, August 10th, 2023 8:00 PM

    BARFLY CABERET MARTUNI'S

    4 Valencia StSan Francisco, CA

    Website: https://m.facebook.com/pages/category/Cocktail-Bar/Martunis-994554857261865/?_rdr#_=_

    As a duo with Paul Benoit and Dawn Oberg

    Friday, August 11th, 2023

    THE CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT SHOW THE MONKEY HOUSE

    1638 University AveBerkeley, CA

    Website: https://www.themonkeyhouse.org/

    Saturday, August 12th, 2023

    CHANDLER AND PAUL RETURN TO NEVADA CITY TBA

    Nevada City, CA

    Sunday, August 13th, 2023 8:00 PM

    CHRIS CHANDLER AND PAUL BENOIT RETURN TO SANTA CRUZ THE LIVE OAK GRANGE HALL

    1900 17th AveSanta Cruz, CA

    Website: https://sites.google.com/site/liveoakgrange/