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The Chris Chandler Show

  • The Muse and Whirled Retort

    Benoit and Chandler poster
    Hey Everybody!
    It's that time Again! Paul and I are doing a short little run very excited about that - so if you are in Austin, Houston, New Orleans, Tallahassee, Athens, or Ashville Fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a wild ride. I am going to spare ya the crass comercial announcments till the end.
    I know many of you are looking for an April fools joke. - but there isn't one. I can't do it every year, I would never fool you. But I am still a little high over the last time I did it... Boy o Boy Y'all can be guilable. Perhaps dat's why I love you so.
    Here is a little poem about being on the road - I hope you enjoy it. It is from the "So, Where Ya Headed album. Enjoy!
    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.
    Austin, Texas
    April 1, 2023
    American Idle

    I have seen the best minds of my generation...
    writing ad copy.

    Tonight as I drown my sorrows in a beer ad,
    I think of Elliot,
    of Yates and Molière.
    What would they have made of it all?
    I wonder if they would be today's poets?
    The ones writing
    "This Bud's for you,”
    “I love you, man,”
    “and It don't get no better than this?"
    You know, the classics?
    Or would they be writing the TV shows them selves?

    Would they write "What biggest looser slouches down project runway waiting to be lost."
Would they be sitting at the right hand of God.
    That’s the one where he holds the remote control.

    Cos, since the moment that God said, "Let there be light."
    And he hit the universal remote
    and a little white dot
    appeared on the giant surround sound television screen in the sky
    and Adam and Eve sat down,
    in their little fig leaf bathrobes
    on their little Fred Flintstone couches
    watching God's first mini-series
    – Known as The constellations –
    and the stories began to unfold
    – and just like today, they would fall asleep to stories on TV.
    And the stories would dance in their dreams.
    They would be passed on from generation to generation.
    Until today, we get
    "Dancing with the Stars."

    In fact, the constellations were the longest running show in human history.
    Longer than The Guiding Light, longer than The Simpsons
    But then it got cancelled.
    Replaced by a new show called Smog.
    So now people go to sleep watching shows like
    American Idol
    where the premiss is for the people
    to become
    that no longer exist.

    But our definition of star
    has become as distorted
    as our view of the night time sky
    in downtown Los Angeles.

    Why do you think every body in LA wants to be a star?
    Because there are no stars.

    But people still fall asleep watching that crap
    – and they dream a retched dream -
    poorly written,
    probably medicated,
    involving a creepy butterfly that flies into your room
    so you can play chess with Abraham Lincoln, a talking Gopher and a mute guy
    in an antique diving bell
    Then, you wind up in a threesome
    with Bob Barker and Drew Cary and a mysterious stranger shouting "Come on Down!"
    And your a smart person, an observant one,
    So notice
    that Johnson Floor Wax retails for the same amount of money as Jiffy Pop Popcorn
    and noticing the innocuous anomaly
    you are asked to spin a giant Catherine Wheel,
    which looks like it may have belonged to Liberace himself
    Until you find your self shouting,
    “The price is NOT right!”

    Even though the price is NOT right
    – we worship our entertainers –
    as long as they're famous.
    It is not like the days of the bard.
    Where the wondering minstrel strolled from township to town,
    encampment to camp fire
    singing the stories of the village just over there.
    Long before they were written down.
    Stories like… , The Torah and The Quran.
    Didn’t all three of those warn us about worshiping
    a false American Idol?

    … and the famous?
    They’ll do anything to stay famous.
    They will go on talk shows to talk about how hard it is to be famous.
    How hard it is to be on the road...
    and they will stab each other in the back
    to take jobs as insipid game show hosts.
    Or judges on contests
    that make no Talents...

    So I say,
    "Fame is for sissies!"

    Hell, It would be easy to be on the road for thirty-five years if you were famous.
    Doing one night stands.
    Staying in hotel rooms. Maybe a week in Vegas.
    Hot showers, Meals.

    Try doing it for thirty-five years when
    your passing the hat
    in a coffee house in North Dakota.

    It’s true with anything you love.
    And it’s not about fame.
    You may be the best widget maker in the world
    - and no one notices -
    so the guy in the assembly line next to you gets the promotion.
    You still have to find a way
    to keep being the best widget maker in the world.

    The only way to do that is
    to keep being the best widget maker in the world

    And tell stories about BEING a widget maker
    to your kids.

    The Dates are just below!

    Paul and I are going to be doing shows in early / mid April in Austin, Houston, 3 Shows in New Orleans, Tallahassee, Athens, Asheville. I hope you can make it. Most of these will be a house concert it should be intimate fun don’t miss it it has been a minute since we played in this neck of the woods. We will be touring in support of our terrific new album “Don’t Go Back to Sleep.”

    Speaking of the album it hovered around number 100 on the folk charts for 8 weeks! If you would like to get your copy you can get a physical or digital copy by clicking on the album cover or right here:

    I want a copy of the new chandler and Benoit CD
    or Pasting


    You may have noticed I am not playing lots of live shows these days. There are lots of reasons for that. I would like to keep this little show touring along and I could use your help!

    Being a continuing contributor really helps me do these very creative and consistent Live Streams from My little Puppet Theatre known as the Jim Alberti Theatre. Seriously, for just a couple of bucks a month you too could be a patron of the arts and help me keep doing my Important work. Thanks so much!

    Click Here: YES! I want to be a continuing Supporter of The Chris Chandler Show

    If you want to make a single donation to The Chris Chandler Show You can click on one of the pictures or click Here:

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    Your Poem of The Week

    I am continuing on with the Poem of The Week as we dip our toes into the post pandemic era. But I have enjoyed doing them and I think you enjoy them as well. I broadcast almost every Tuesday at 7 central live Streamed on Face Book and then Posted on to my You tube Cannel.

    If you would like to follow me on facebook you can do so at

    PLEASE SUBSCRIBE to my YouTube Channel By clicking on the video and follow the prompts or by clicking here.

    I want to subscribe to Chris Chandler’s YouTube Channel!

    H.E.R.E.'.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    Saturday, April 8th, 2023 7:00 PM to 10:00 PM Houston
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in a House Concert at the home of Kelly
    Email Me or Text me for the address 240 476 4976Houston, TX
    This will be a rare and intimate house concert. It has been a while since we have returned to Houston. SO looking forward to it.

    Sunday, April 9th, 2023 3:00 PM New Orleans
    Featuring at the Maple Leaf Poetry Series Maple Leaf
    8316 Oak StNew Orleans, LA 70118831
    This is an afternoon Gig This is the longest running poetry series in North America!

    Sunday, April 9th, 2023 8:30 PM New Orleans
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show in a House Concert The Pin Church
    RSVP advance tickets coming soon
    That will get you the address
    Metarie, LA

    Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 ON LINE 7 PM CDST

    The Poem of the Week Live streamed on FaceBook

    Tuesday, April 11th, 2023 New Orleans
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show Hi-Ho Lounge 6:00 PM
    2239 St ClaudeNew Orleans, LA

    Wednesday, April 12th, 2023 5:00 PM Tallahasse
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Show Play Happy Hour in Tallahasse The Blue Tavern
    1206 N. Monroe St.
    Tallahasse, FL

    Thursday, April 13th, 2023 Athens
    The Chris Chandler and Paul Benoit Showwith Caroline Aiken and Michael Wegner

    House Concert

    At The Home of Michael Wegner

    179 Virginia Ave
    Athens, GA

    Friday, April 14th, 2023 7:30 PM Ashville
    The Chris Chandler Show in Asheville The Stop Light Concert Series
    RSVP 630-258-0635 for the addressAhseville, NC
    Limited Parking. Try to car pool. Donations. No one turned away for lack of funds.