Skip to main content

The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort Archives 2006

    The Muse and Whirled Retort December, 2006

    chandler - the website

    December 4, 2006 Volume VIII Issue iii

    T.A.B.L.E. .O.F. .C.O.N.T.E.N.T.S.


    1. Brand new stuff for November
    2. How to get stuff
    3. Greetings and quick run down of recent past and the near future
    4. The Muse and Whirled Retort
    5. Announcements
    6. "Thank You!"
    7. Dates

    BRAND NEW 12/2006:



    We have been in the studio all month - and this is the best CD to date, another double CD with fabulous special guests, bonus features, and of course includes all the new material from the past year or so as well as a few unrecorded - most requested favorites!

    We could use your help making this CD.

    Being in the studio is expensive and every hour we are in the studio is one we aren't at your favorite neighborhood coffeehouse making a nickel.

    If you would like to order an advance copy it would sure help a lot:

    If you are feeling good this month and would like to contribute to the recording efforts a donation of a hundred dollars will get you in the liner notes.


    1. Check out a new video and includes my first attempt at animation!


    Sofas and #2 Pencils

    While you are there - add me as a friend to Myspace at:

    (I had to do it!)

    1. View The Chris Chandler and David Roe Show's Electronic Press Kit at Sonic Bids

    American Storyteller the DVD is NOW at CD Baby

    CD Baby now has copies of three earlier releases:

    Convenience Store Troubadours: Featuring Samantha Parton of the Be Good Tanyas, David Rovics, Oliver Steck, Dan Bern, and Hammel on Trial

    Collaborations: Features Peter Yarrow of Peter Paul and Mary, Dar Williams, Ellis Paul, Martin Sexton, Dan Bern and many many more!

    Hell Toupee: This is THE album featuring the band The Convenience Store Troubadours: Laura Freeman, Frankie Hernandez and Chad Austinson - a very cool album.

    What great Christmas Gifts!

    Enough of the crass commercial announcements. Lets get to the news.


    1. Welcome to the news letter - It's that time of the month again...
    Biggest news this month:

    The good news is - we are taking this time off to make a new record. American Storyteller Vols III and IV. If you would like to help us by buying an advance copy of the CD just click here, and make sure you put your address and we'll see to it you get a copy as soon as the ink on the cover is dry: Get your


    Also, If you would like to help us - especially since we are not on the road making money and are instead spending money to make this CD

    A contribution of $100 will get you listed in the liner notes! WOO HOO. OH, we accept anonymous donations as well in our Tip Jar:


    Second biggest news:

    We are booking a tour across the country and we need you help. Check the dates for details.


    1. And now...

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.

    The Muse and Whirled Retort

    December, 2006

    Volume VIII Issue ii

    Washington, DC

    Dec 4, 2006

    New York City

    It seems like the war on Christmas just comes earlier and earlier every year.

    It always amazes me how many liberals take the bait. They respond to the non-controversy in a way that further opens rifts that really should not exist.

    My dear friend of 20 years, Blair Walking Hawk Powell passed this month. Blair was Native American, and I participated in annual rituals with him at the Kerrville Folk Festival. I felt bigger because of it. I had dedicated a poem to him in '01 on the "Flying Poetry Circus" album. There is a line in that poem he taught me:

    "Freedom is thanking a God you don't believe in."

    Wal-Mart has an ad slogan this year, "We are not afraid to say Merry Christmas."

    Thanking a God you DO believe in seems easy somehow. Maybe even selfish. That is why I say "Merry Christmas" right back. There is a group out there called Jews for Jesus. I like it. But, still, Jesus was a Jew. What about Atheists for Jesus? What about Christians for Atheists? What about Christians for Muslims? How about Sunnis for Shiites? Shiites for Sunnis? Muslims for Jews? Jews for Muslims? Pagans for Wiccans? Baptists for Queers? Or even Queers for Baptists?

    Now, we are getting somewhere.

    There is really no difference in any of our religions — except some meaningless symbology. If there is anything that Christ taught, it was the superficiality of symbology. (Luke 21)

    So, here in the midst of what may soon be a very hot civil war between Sunnis and Shiites caused by Christians, or even worse - when the Christians pull out — a war between Sunni and Shiite nations over the country that was Iraq, - a very real World War III - I find it hard to say Merry Christmas.

    But, I do. Merry Christmas.

    Translated "Happy Rising of our Savior." But is not for the birth of a single child born some 2000 years ago in a country that is now torn apart by religious apartheid that I say, "Merry Christmas." I say it to celebrate the Christ child, the savior, and the forgiver of our sins that is born, or could be born, within each one of us, each moment, of each hour of each and every day.

    It is a child not created through sexual intercourse but through faith. He is born in the feeding trough of a jackass — the lowest place within our own soul

    May we learn from the lowest of the low, as he taught, to forgive each other for their sins so that we may not die because of our own. Merry Christmas.

    I bring to you a gift to celebrate the birth of our savior. Our savior is you.

    It is a humble gift. One you have, I am sure, heard before

    Please re re-read, these surprising profound lyrics from the late fifties.

    Don't gloss over them as you would if you heard some classic rock ditty for your youth echo in your cranium at a grocery store one thousand times. Sometimes a song lasts because it is well good.

    Let the melody linger in your head as you read the interwoven segments.

    Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum

    A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum

    Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum

    To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,

    rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

    As he looked up, Jesus saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins.

    "I tell you the truth," he said, "this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on."

    So to honor Him, pa rum pum pum pum,

    When we come.

    It is difficult to conjure that Christ intended every widow to give all she had to live on. Especially when you consider that widows in the antiquated world in which these words were written, a widow was the poorest of the poor. A temple was skyscraper. Asking a widow to give what little she had to the church treasury is like asking a disabled woman on the corner of the expressway and downtown to give away her social security check to the church for its television broadcast. Like, say the Jimmy Swaggarts of the world.

    Notice Christ did not say, "Go forth and do likewise".

    Why then did he mention it? Think about that this Christmas season.

    Little Baby, pa rum pum pum pum

    I am a poor boy too, pa rum pum pum pum

    I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum

    That's fit to give the King, pa rum pum pum pum,

    rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

    They came to him and said, "Teacher, we know you are a man of integrity. You aren't swayed by men, because you pay no attention to who they are; but you teach the way of God in accordance with the truth. Is it right to pay taxes to Caesar or not? Should we pay or shouldn't we?"

    But Jesus knew their hypocrisy. "Why are you trying to trap me?" he asked. "Bring me a Denarius and let me look at it."

    They brought the coin, and he asked them, "Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?"

    "Caesar's," they replied.

    Shall I play for you, pa rum pum pum pum,

    On my drum?

    "Render unto Caesar, that which is Caesar's and Render unto God that which is God's."

    His Mother nodded, pa rum pum pum pum

    The ox and lamb kept time, pa rum pum pum pum

    I played my drum for Him, pa rum pum pum pum

    I played my best for Him, pa rum pum pum pum,

    rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum,

    I always envisioned Christ reaching down and holding a clod of dirt, like Katy Scarlet O'Hara as he delivers that line, he holds the clod of dirt for others to inspect, "Whose face do you see here?"

    They look at each other puzzled. "That is the face of God."

    Then He smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum

    Me and my drum.

    Merry Christmas


    The Announcements

    We are looking for dates in Northern, CA, Southern, CA

    Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana

    See below for details


    Blair Powell died this month. His memorial service was yesterday.

    In lieu of flowers contributions can be made to: Montgomery County Humane Society at 1016 E. Dallas Street, Conroe, Texas 77301 or Good Shepherd Residential Treatment Facility at 23538 Coons Road, Tomball, Texas 77377.

    My friend Tim Mason has written a poem for him. I posted it here.


    The Folk music world lost DC Fitzgerald this month. I am proud to have known him and called him friend.


    My Car died this month. She was a good car. I am with out wheels. Anybody got a line on a good car?


    We had hoped to have American Storyteller out by Christmas, but we do hope to have it out by the start of the next tour.

    T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.

    ~Henry Cross ~Nick Newlin ~Kevin Jefferson ~Russel Carter~Devon Nicholl ~Elizabeth Crisfield ~Pat Wictor ~Kathryn Falcone ~Nick Annis ~Joe Jencks ~Kodac Harrison ~Fishman ~Anne Feeney ~Shirley ~Mom~

    The Front Porch Turkey Jam Gang



    We need Louisville or St Louis here.

    On January 5 — anyone help out?

    Saturday, January 6th, 2007, 8 pm

    St Louis, MO

    The Schlafly Tap Room

    2100 Locust

    Sunday, January 5th

    Kansas City?

    Tuesday, January 9th, 2007, 7:30

    Los Altos, CA

    Home of Chuck and Joanne Narad

    5872 Arboretum Dr

    650 208-7788 (Joanne's cell)

    Wed, January 10

    Outside of Ashland, OR

    House Concert

    Keep your eyes peeled

    Thursday, January 11th, 2007, 7:00 PM

    Salem, OR

    Salem House Concerts

    Old Central Salem

    503 378 7704

    Friday, January 12th, 2007, 8pm


    Northern Pacific Coffee Company

    401 Garfield Street South


    Saturday, January 13th, 2007, 9:00 PM

    Port Townsend


    823 Water


    Monday, January 15th, 2007, 9 PM

    Bellingham, WA

    Acoustic Green Frog Tavern

    900 N. State St.


    Tuesday, January 16th, 2007

    Victoria, BC

    Solstice Cafe

    Wednesday, January 17th, 2007

    Vancouver, BC

    The Railway Club for more info

    Thursday, January 18th, 2007

    Olympia, WA

    Pugent Sound Community College 12:00 noon

    Thursday, January 18th, 2007

    Olympia, WA

    TBA  for info

    Friday, January 19th, 2007

    Portland, OR

    The Lighthouse Intentional Community

    211 SE Madison

    503 234 6115

    Saturday, January 20th, 2007

    Eugene, Or

    Sam Bond's Garage

    407 Blair


    Sunday, January 21st, 2007, 6:30

    Bandon, OR

    Bates House

    89569 Sunny Loop Lane


    Anyone in Northern California help here?

    January 22, 23, 24

    Thursday, January 25th, 2007, tba

    Nevada City

    Cooper's Saloon

    235 Commercial St.

    (530) 265-011

    Friday, January 26th, 2007

    Redwood, CA


    Saturday, January 27th, 2007, 7:00PM

    San Francisco, CA

    The Beat Museum

    With Timothy Mason

    540 Broadway (at Columbus)

    415 399 9626

    Sunday, January 28th, 2007, 11:00 AM


    Radio interview at KPIG!


    Sunday, January 28th, 2007, 11:00 AM

    Berkeley, CA

    La Pena Cultural Center

    3105 Shattuck Ave

    Berkeley, CA 94705

    (510) 849-2568

    With Dave Lippman

    Monday, January 29th, 2007, 8pm

    Downtown Felton, CA

    Don Quixote's International Music Hall

    6275 Highway 9


    Anyone from the bay to Southern California help out here?

    Saturday February 4

    Phoenix, AZ

    House Concert TBA

    Sunday, February 5, 6, 7

    Any one in Tucson, Prescott, Flagstaff, El Paso?

    Thursday, February 8th, 2007, 8:30pm

    Ft. Worth, TX

    Black Dog Tavern

    2933 Crockett


    Sunday February 10

    Houston TX

    Dan Electros

    We need to play Austin, Dallas, Denton Baton Rouge!

    Friday, February 16th, 2007


    Deadwood Mardi Gras


    Saturday, February 17th, 2007


    Deadwood Mardi Gras


    Tuesday, February 20th, 2007

    New Orleans, LA

    Mardi Gras

    From the Bywater to the Quarters

    Wednesday, February 21st, 2007, Feb 21-25

    Memphis , TN

    Folk Alliance

    March 1

    Pensacola, FL WUWF