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The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort Archives 2006

    T.H.E. M.U.S.E. A.N.D. W.H.I.R.L.E.D. R.E.T.O.R.T.

    chandler - the website

    November 6, 2006

    Volume VIII Issue ii

    T.A.B.L.E. .O.F. .C.O.N.T.E.N.T.S.


    1. Subscription stuff
    2. Brand new stuff for November
    3. How to get stuff
    4. Greetings and quick run down of recent past and the near future
    5. The Muse and Whirled Retort
    6. Announcements
    7. "Thank You!"
    8. Dates


    1. To subscribe (I ONLY BOTHER YOU ONCE A MONTH) click:

    To unsubscribe reply with unsubscribe in the subject line.


    BRAND NEW 11/2006:



    We are in the studio all month - and this is the best CD to date!

    Another Double CD with fabulous special guests and bonus features and of course includes all the new material from the past year or so as well as a few unrecorded - most requested favorites!

    We could use your help making this CD.

    Being in the studio is expensive and every hour we are in the studio is one we aren't at your favorite neighborhood bar making a nickel.

    If you would like to order an advance copy it would sure help a lot:

    If you are feelin good this month and would like to contribute to the recording efforts a donation of a hundred dollars will get you in the liner notes!


    1. Check out a new video and includes my first attempt at antimation!


    Sofas and #2 Pencils

    While you are there - add me as a friend to Myspace at:

    (I had to do it!)

    1. View The Chris Chandler and David Roe Show's Electronic Press Kit at Sonic Bids
    2. From our pinball machine distractions, to our muscle car imperialism, to
    the self-proclaimed-edginess of the so-called FM radio revolution (that was, in reality, the advent of corporate rock).

    Just as we call ourselves hip and trendy on Rupert Murdoch's Myspace.

    So ya wanna be a rock and roll star?

    Listen now to what I say

    Hey now, you're an All Star get your game on, get played

    Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on, get paid

    The band is just fantastic that is really what we think and Oh, by the way, Which one is pink?

    I'm comin' up so you better get this party started.

    As the years trundled on, our customized vans shag carpet chrome plated chain link steering wheel and quadraphonic sound system would become Mini Vans with its self ejecting cup holder, GPS tracking and an XM satellite radio playing the same songs we played on our 8 Track.

    The accouterments of Imperial power have grown so large in direct proportion to the degree our individual visions have been rendered so small and corrupt.

    The United States was transformed from a republic, conceived to be governed by way of democratic discourse, into a center devoid archipelago of shopping malls, bereft of a public square. An internalized McMansion has supplanted the towering glory of our internal Sequoia trees; hence, our roots can no longer reach deep down, our branches no longer lift towards the sky of possibility - reducing sequoia forests to toothpicks in order to pick from our teeth the bits of charred flesh of those slaughtered in its imperial wars.

    Me and you and a dog named boo

    Who let the dogs out who who who who who who who

    Burn baby burn! - Disco inferno!

    Go, go, go, go, go, go

    Go, shorty

    It's your birthday

    We gon' party like it's your birthday

    We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday

    We used to call it plagiarism - now we call it the Lime Wire.

    The empire has become a suburban pothead teenager, who, as the years have passed, has transformed into a self-absorbed Starbuck's Latte-slurping, Prozac popping consumer zombie, afflicted by a mindless appetite to devour the resources of the entire planet in the manner he devoured the food from his mother's pantry when he had a bad case of the reefer munchies.

    Through the ensuing decades, we've continued to deceive ourselves into believing the corruption and embarrassments of the 1970's -- from the crimes of Watergate to the inane-ness of The Gong Show (the American Idol of its time) -- had nothing to do with us. As a consequence, it comes down to this: we didn't learn a damn thing during the 70s, therefore, we've condemned ourselves to relive it. Yes, it is high time to strike the gong for Karl Rove and his pathetic, dancing, feces-flinging pet monkey act that is presently stinking up the stage of The Gong Show of the American political system.

    George Bush, "I vote you off the Island."

    Dick Cheney, "You're fired."

    But next, we should turn off the TV, log off the computer, walk to the closest mirror, look ourselves in the eye, and repeat the phrase, "I am not a crook."


    T.H.E. . .A.N.N.O.U.N.C.M.E.N.T.S.

    The new CD is being recorded as we speak!

    New material and many of the unrecorded and most requested old ones too.

    American Storyteller Vols 3 and 4

    The thing is we need money to finish the project. Every day we are in the studio is a day we are not out at you favorite coffee house shaking a tip jar.

    If you would like to contribute to the project we will put you in the liner notes for $100 as an executive producer.


    Also, you could help out by buying an advance copy.


    Or by buying any of the stuff we have for sale including American Storyteller the DVD

    Or the newly acquired Prime CD catalogue 3 previously unavailable titles.


    The west coast tour:

    WE SOOO need gigs to get across the country; from DC to Tacoma, WW

    Are you between here and there?

    Interested in doing a house concert?

    See dates below



    It seems that very few are covering this story correctly. These days it seems we listen to the news not so much to be informed but to be affirmed. We have left news and right news. Both miss the mark. The left LOVES a story of protest that wins and in its fervor to find one it really missed the mark here. Please see CLICK HERE

    for a letter written from Galludet faculty to Democracy NOW!


    My video:

    "Somethngs in the Air but it is not on the Air Waves" made Neil Young's top ten list of best anti war videos. Upon reaching its highest mark at # 10 it was pulled from YouTube. Then it falls in the rankings. Related? maybe - maybe not. Maybe I am paranoid. Doesn't change the fact that they ARE out to get me.


    Got a line on a cheap Vehicle? I really need one.


    T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.

    Kimberly Simms, Atmo, Pat Barnes, Adam Broadski, Stu Bass, Wendy Corn, Ada Hahn, Phil and Angie, KB and Brian, Russ Tarby, Dawn, Janell, Amanda, Shirley, Anne, Chris Inserra. Katie Mae add your name here.


    H.E.R.E.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.