The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort Archives 2009

    Muse and Whirled Retort - October 2009

    Muse and Whirled Retort  October 2009
    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .RE.T.O.R.T
    October 01, 2009
    Vol. XI issue i
    Special 11th Anniversary Edition
    Silver Spring, MD

    **************************************
    *FLASH*** FLASH*** FLASH*** FLASH*
    **************************************


    Wait --- Wait --- Wait just a second here. We MUST have a sec for a rare but still important crass commercial announcement. It is from our sponsor ,um, me.

    Ya see, it is done! The new CD is finished. It is named after the first thing ya say to a hitchhiker: "So, Where Ya Headed?"

    It is fully recorded and mixed and wow, does it sound good. My best studio effort in years!

    All due to Paul Benoit (www.paulbenoitmusic.com Paul-Benoit-Music). He is nothing short of a world class slide, roots and Americana guitar player living in Seattle, El Salvador and Paris. He both accompanies on and produced this new record, "So, Where Ya Headed?"

    I am posting a song from it -- for a few days -- that seems to fit the theme of this newsletter at www.myspace.com/chrischandlerorg Listen-NOW!
    If you would like to purchase an advance copy, I will send you a signed copy of the new CD for $20 bucks including postage.

    The easiest way is via PayPal by clicking on the coffee can to your right
    The other way is to send a check or money order to:

    Chris Chandler
    3128 Memory Lane
    Silver Spring, MD 20904

    In either case, make sure you include your snail mail address and how you would like it signed.

    And one more thing before we get to the featured newsletter: The tour. See tour dates if you are on the east coast from NYC around the peninsula of Florida all the way into Texas!

    NOW, enough of the crass commercial announcement and on to…

    T.H.E. .M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .RE.T.O.R.T
    October 01, 2009
    Vol. XI issue i
    Silver Spring, MD
    Yes folks, it is the eleventh anniversary of the M.U.S.E. .A.N.D. .W.H.I.R.L.E.D. .R.E.T.O.R.T.,  and what better way to celebrate than a report from Pittsburgh, PA, where the G-20 has been this month (as have I).

    It used to be the G-8, but they had to make it a higher number…well, because of inflation. Some people applaud the number because the say it makes the group (or gang) more inclusive.  But I know better.  It’s really because if they kept it at 8 they would have had to kick out the United States.  But, that is not the reason I want the number to get smaller.  I want one big – G.  

    Oddly, we are the only country in the G-20 with out health care.  If it were a meeting of the world’s best healthcare providers, we would have to have the G-250 in order to include the United States.

    But what about the other 250 some odd countries?  Why weren’t they invited to participate in a conference on the world’s economic affairs?  We would have had to give them some time off – and we can’t have that!  They have cheap plastic crap to make.  Where would Wal-Mart be if we gave the third world some time off.?  And where would we be with out Wal-Mart?  The G-100?

    Those peon third world nations are either rouges or slaves.  They are a lot like you and me, too busy paying finance fees and bounced check charges to ever get out of the sweat shop.

    The majority of the world is out pickin’ cotton, a few tokens are happy to be workin' in the big house while a couple of fat cats are sitttin' on the front porch drinkin' mint juleps.

    You put a bunch of wackos dressed like minute men in a town hall meeting, trying to protect the insurance corporations, and it is round-the-clock coverage, but you put thousands on the streets and you fire tear gas at them, and barely mention it on the news.  Sheeze, ya gotta go to Iran and march on the streets to get coverage on the news.

    I played there with Anne Feeney for the release of Michael Moore's new Movie "Capitalism, A Love Story."  It's international debut was screened for free there.  I highly recommend it. www.CapitalismALoveStory.com

    Sometimes I think we are all in a traffic jam on the highway to hell, honking our horns at the devil himself, and shouting, “Can’t we get a move on?”

    We got half of us working a lousy construction job trying to widen the highway to hell, and the other half working on a more fuel efficient handbasket.

    We got the Chinese offering us rope for sale and Bank of America is offering expensive knot tying classes for a small finance fee.

    They have (literally) started charging a fee if you don’t make enough deposits in a month (regardless of your balance) and American Express has decided they can lower your credit limit if you start making purchases at the Dollar Store (really).

    They are making record profits not in spite of the bad economy – but because of it.  Why is it our economy collapsed?  “Let’s find somebody that’s broke and then charge ‘em for it.”   It’s no wonder the banks have “failed.”  Bounced check charges, late fees, over the limit fees, ATM fees…. It’s like my friend Roger Manning used to say, “People work hard their whole lives, wind up with nothing.  Me, I ain’t got nothing.  At least I didn’t work hard for it.”

    Now that everybody is broke, they have figured out new ways to take money from you with this bailout.  These CEOs with their golden parachutes… between you and me I wish they were real golden parachutes – like King Midas jumping out of a 727.

    It’s ironic that the principle economic power at the G-20 is a communist country.  The capitalist countries are bailing the banks out with public money.  It’s the twentieth anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall – yet when our wall – Wall Street almost fell we rebuilt it stronger than ever while giving a hand job to the corpse of Khrushchev. But this turn of events ain't turning Khrushchev on.  That ain't a hard on that's rigor mortis.  Yet somehow we only wind up with the lousy parts of socialism.  WHERE’S MY HEALTH CARE?  I don’t want to own the banks. WHERE’S MY HEALTH CARE?  I don’t wanna own the car companies. WHERE’S MY HEALTH CARE?  

    But since we are bailing the banks out, I say, let’s do to them what they’ve been doing to us.  Let’s give them one of these ballooning variable rate interests.  Let’s give them over the limit fees.  Let’s give them finance charges.  Let’s give them bounced check charges.  

    Then maybe we could take it back to the G-8.  Or the G-6.  Or 4?

    Or how bout one big G?

    ***********************************
    A.N.N.O.U.N.C.E.M.E.N.T.S.

    Paul and I are planning a tour in October. If you are in
    DC, NYC, Philly, Anywhere in MD or VA, Ashville, Winston-Salem, Charlotte, Atlanta, Savannah, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, De Land, Tampa, Miami, Gainesville, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Houston, Dallas, Ft. Worth, Austin, San Marcos, San Antonio, we’ll be there. Can you help in any of these cities - or anywhere in between?

    See below for details!
    *********************************
    The New CD is finished! It is named after the first thing ya say to a hitchhiker: "So, Where Ya Headed?"

    I am posting a song from it -- for a few days -- that seems to fit the theme of this news letter at Listen-Now!

    The thing is, now I have to pay to have it to be manufactured, and you too can help!!! In fact, you can help by doing one of the following:

    You can purchase an advance copy. I will send you a signed copy of the new CD for $20 bucks including postage.

    It would be a huge help!!!!!!!!!!

    The easiest way is by clicking the coffee can on your right.

    The other option is to send a check or money order to:

    Chris Chandler
    3128 Memory Lane
    Silver Spring, MD 20904

    In either case, make sure you include your snail mail address and how you would like it signed or your name listed.

    *************************
    Mary Travers (November 9, 1936 – September 16, 2009)
    We will miss you.

    ********************************
    T.H.A.N.K. .Y.O.U.
    Shirley Myers, Michelle Selllers, Celene deLoach, Jen Delyth, Gordon Flett, Karen Newman; DJ; Chris, Liana, Francis, and Monica Kennedy, Anne Feeney, Roy Zimmerman, Joe and Jay, EEQ, Pat Barnes, Bryan Miller, Matt Daughtery, Seth Lamb, Foxy, Frankly Nesbet, Amy Malkoff, Jim and Catherine Infantino.

    H.E.R.E.'.S. .D.A. .D.A.T.E.S.

    with Paul Benoit
    Palace of Wonders
    1210 H St. NE
    Washington, DC 20002
    phone: 202.398.SHOW(7469)
    PRICE: $10.00
    website: http://www.palaceofwonders.com/home.html

    Thursday, October 15th, 2009 8 PM
    Red Emma's Presents
    Red Emma's Bookstore Coffeehouse
    800 St. Paul
    Baltimore, Maryland 21202
    phone: 410.230.0450
    website: http://redemmas.org

    Friday, October 16th, 2009
    Local 1199's Martin Luther King, Jr. Auditorium
    A celebration of the Life of Julus Margolin
    310 West 43rd Street (between 8th and 9th Avenues)
    New York, NY
    website: http://shop.georgeandjulius.com/

    Saturday, October 17th, 2009 8 PM
    At the home of Jim and Sheila Brand
    Last Chance Cafe
    music@thelastchancecafe.net
    Suburban Philly (Jenkintown), PA 19046
    phone: 215 663 8267
    PRICE: $15.00
    website: http://www.thelastchancecafe.net

    Monday, October 19th, 2009 7:00 PM
    Ron Goad Presents an invited songwriter caberet
    Brewer's Alley Restaurant & Brewery
    124 North Market Street
    Frederick, MD 21701
    phone: 301-631-0089
    website: http://www.brewers-alley.com
    several acts performing 3 songs each

    Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 8 PM
    with Dany Dolinger
    Franklin's Cafe and Wine Bar
    20 S. Mason Street
    Harrisonburg, VA
    phone: 540 434 3002
    website: http://Frankinscafe.com

    Friday, October 23
    Ashville, NC
    super secret show.
    email baldchandler@yahoo.com

    Saturday, October 24th, 2009 9:00 PM
    email baldchandler@yahoo.com for deets
    Underground Show
    Ashville, NC

    Sunday, October 25th, 2009 8 pm
    with Paul Benoit
    Eddie's Attic
    515-B North McDonough St. (upstairs)
    Decatur, GA 30030
    phone: 404-377-4976
    PRICE: $10.00
    website: http://www.eddiesattic.com/

    Monday, October 26th, 2009 8 pm
    South Tampa House Concert
    Tampa, FL
    Contact Gloria gshello@tampabay.rr.com 813-837-6572 for deets

    Tuesday, October 27th, 2009 8 pm
    with Paul Benoit
    Luna Cafe
    775 Northeast 125th Street
    North Miami, FL 33161
    phone: 305•799•7123
    website: http://www.lunastarcafe.com/index.htm


    Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
    WSLR Presents
    Venue TBA
    Sarasota, FL
    website: http://www.wslr.org
    contact beatond@yahoo.com 941-894-6469 for details

    Thursday, October 29th, 2009 9 PM
    Joe Courter Presents
    Civic Media Center
    433 S Main St
    Gainesville, FL 32601
    Coordinators@civicmediacenter.org

    Sunday, November 1st, 2009 8 pm
    Chris and Paul with Jessica Radcliffe
    Fair Grinds Coffeehouse
    3133 Ponce deLeon
    New Orleans, LA 70119
    phone: (504) 913-9072
    website: http://www.fairgrinds.com
    info@fairgrinds.com

    Monday, November 2nd, 2009
    a workshop - tentative
    Studio 525
    Covington, LA

    Tuesday, November 2nd, 2009
    House Concert
    Tentative
    Dallas, TX
    TBA

    Thursday, November 5th, 2009
    House Concert
    At the Home of Amy Sue Berlin
    San Marcos, TX
    RSVP amysueberlin@yahoo.com
     
    Friday, November 6th, 2009
    MC and Featured act Project Chumbo First Friday
    Ruta Maya
    3601S Congress (behind x-pose)
    Austin, TX
    website: http://www.rutamaya.net

    Saturday, November 7th
    House Concert Austin, TX
    RSVP Emily 512 470-7767

    Sunday, February 8th, 2009 7pm
    Houston, TX
    early show
    Dan Electros Guitar Bar
    1031 E. 24th
    Houston, TX
    phone: 713-862-8707
    Website: www.danelectrosguitarbar.com

    updated: 12 years ago