The Chris Chandler Show

  • Muse and Whirled Retort Archives 2005

    The Muse and Whirled Retort February 2005

    The Muse and Whirled Retort February 2005
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    T h e  M u s e  a n d  W h i r l e d  R e t o r t

    Pittsburgh, PA

    February 2005

    Volume 6 issue 5

    Hey everybody,

    It's that time of the month again...

    Ahhh February .. Valentine's day and the Super bowl ®. Only in America. Snow snow and more snow.

    Now, I am southern by birth and a liberal by the grace of god ... maybe somewhere along the

    troubadour highway I picked up a little too much "hippie wisdom" but in winter --it's just plain too cold

    to lay around naked -- I mean if being a nudist really is a religion -- I bet they'd turn atheist

    if they spent a winter like this in Pittsburgh.

    Yankees like to make fun of southern drivers in the snow - like they CAN drive in it - makes them

    feel all superior - like that's the reason the won the civil war - well Mr.

    "I-prefer-Dunkin'-Doughnuts-to-Krispy- Kreme" It's

    you that should learn to drive in the snow -- then maybe you too can have drive-through liquor

    stores -  hell, in the south we get a light dusting and we have the good sense to call it the

    national emergency that it is.

    So.. Where do Chris Chandler and Anne Feeney head for their final farewell tour?  You guessed it

    -- Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa.  That's right! Tomorrow morning we'll be busy fastening on the snow

    chains and harnessing up the

    huskies and shouting "mush!" as we go wheeling past Wheeling headed for the great Midwest.

    But I am not worried.  This is the time of year when we get lots of ironicjuxtapositions like

    Mardi Gras and Presidents' Day  - You should have been in DC for the inauguration... which was, well,

    Fat Tuesday for Republicans.  Ya shoulda seen it...the Chamber of Commerce -- drunker than George

    Jones -- shouting at the floats... women named Buffy lifting their foundation

    garments to expose brassieres that, like Bush's economic policy for the rich, lift and separate

    them from the

    riffraff below. CSPAN catches them shouting "throw me something Mister!"  While billionaires'

    errand-boys on floats that pay tribute to Greek Gods toss tax cuts like Mardi Gras beads to people who

    don't need them.

    But let me tell ya DC has been the place to be this month -- with the inaugurals and

    counter-inaugurals, protest zones and metal detectors.  Me, I tried to take in as much as I could.   I felt the

    need to go to both sides -- The "Billionaires for Bush" ball and the black tie and

    boots -- which actually should have been called "Billionaires for Bush" -- only Republicans don't

    seem to have any sense of irony, or they wouldn't have those "support our troops" ribbons hanging

    over the gas tanks of their stretch humvees and monster trucks.

    The thing I don't get is, when did the Republicans take ownership of cowboy boots and rednecks?

    When did that become theirs? What the hell do people wearing Tony Lamas have in common with the

    Republican party?  What is it

    that makes Sara Evans, Clay Walker, Neal McCoy, and Lyle Lovett be Republicans? No $hit-kicking

    good-ol-boy in his right mind should be for those "John-Travolta-in-Urban-Cowboy" cowboys."  They

    are the ones keeping $hit-kicking good-ol-boys poor.

    Just because George's parents bought him a ranch, it does not make him a good 'ol boy - My mother

    once bought me a bow tie but I don't now believe myself to be Tucker Carlson.

    But wait -- it gets worse... the inaugural parties that is.  These

    "cowboys-dressed-as-aristocrats" actually had the umm... balls to have one of their umm... balls at the American Indian Museum.  

    (Which I like to call

    AIM)  They had a honky-tonk rock-n-roll cover band which actually played "Brown Sugar."  I was

    waiting for "Half Breed," "Cherokee People" and "Kaw-Liga - the Wooden Indian."  The band performed

    right next to the

    smallpox blanket display. In case you were wondering, there is no "smoking area" at the museum.

    Watching Republicans try to smoke cigars in the American Indian Museum was a hoot.

    Then (ya can't make this stuff up)  they had a party at the new Air and Space museum -- which I

    guess is a more appropriate place than AIM -- but ya gotta picture 2000 high-rollers sipping

    cocktails mingling around the Enola

    Gay chatting about the war. Now what were we saying about the rich having no sense of irony?

    February also gives us The State of the Union Address and Groundhog Day -- another ironic

    juxtaposition:  Once a year we witness an elaborate ceremony wherein a creature with a brain the size of a

    hard-boiled egg is called upon

    to forecast our future.  The other event involves a

    groundhog in Punxsutawney. This year Dick Cheney popped out of his underground bunker, but

    bloodsucking vampire that he is, he cast no shadow -- and now we are stuck with four more years.


    The best coverage of the Iraqi election appeared in the New York Times:


    Anne is pleased to announce that "Have You Been to Jail for Justice?" is on this month's

    "SingOut!" magazine CD with the words and chords appearing

    in Vol 49#1 on the stands now.


    We are so saddened to report the death of our 34 year old friend and companera, Jolie Rickman - a

    dedicated activist in the School of the Americas Watch movement, and many other fronts of social

    justice. Jolie fought a valiant struggle with brain cancer, and requests that donations in

    her memory be sent to the Syracuse Catholic Worker house.

    Friends of Dorothy .(checks made out to them, too)

    212 Wayne Street

    Syracuse, NY 13203

    They will send you a receipt with the tax # when they receive your donation,

    so please attach your

    address to the mailing.


    Chris and Jo are trying to line up some work on the west coast in April for the new Show with Jo

    Smith - please feel free to drop me a line if you have any ideas or want to present us or have a

    house concert.


    Alright, this doesnt happen often - me getting a request for any of the material I did BEFORE I

    shaved my head - do any of you have any copies of any of the old tapes I put out? There were ten

    "releases" from 1988 to 1993.

    I don't.


    Finally, Anyone out there got any tips on some additional showcases at the Folk Alliance in

    Montreal?  Chris and Jo would be interested in such a thing.

    updated: 16 years ago